Check in

 Last week in review, 

Yesterday was my dad’s birthday. It was all I could do to keep from losing my mind. I stayed on the program and didn’t divulge in nonsense, like fast food, candy, and ice cream. Except that’s a lie. I had couple of bites of Keto Chocolate, and a few bites of Keto Ice cream.  A girl sure knows how to spoil herself. LOL.  

However, we went to two concerts last week. Luke Bryan on Friday and Shania Twain on Saturday (don’t judge me). I didn’t get any candy, popcorn, or soda (ya’ll should be really proud of me). On Saturday, we parked on the 9th floor, and quickly discovered that the elevator was out of service.  That meant we had to go down the stairs, and up the stairs.  I made it. I didn’t die. 9 flights of stairs. 

For entertainment:  a couple of weeks before starting Keto, I bought a new belt. Yesterday I had to punch several more holes in the stupid thing for it to be a properly, functioning belt for my fat self. 

We will see that this week brings.  I have a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday (I’m 60%  sure I am looking at a foot surgery.) I would love the down time, but I will miss being active. 

Speaking of being active, thanks to our governor pulling his head of his rear end and no longer having control over what people do with their bodies,  masks are no longer required at the gym. I am planning on going back this week. Probably not until after my appointment though, I really need to figure out what’s going on with my body first. 

Today’s weigh in was 243. I hope I can break into the 230’s in the next five weeks or so.

Return of Fatso-T

 Hello, fellow blog stalkers. 

Long time, no see? Right.  It’s been quite some time since I checked in,  I totally fell off the wagon. Some of you know this, but most do not. 

Not long after my last check in, my dad suddenly passed away.  I lost my (adoptive) mom at 10 years old, and my dad at age 35. I don’t remember those feelings at 10 years old. But, at 35 years old, losing my last parent messed me up so bad.  Most people who lose their last parent, do so much older than I am now, and they have their siblings to rally around them and help them through that. Not me. I had to shift from being a sibling, to being a parental figure to my special needs siblings.  I have had to deal with courts, paperwork, insane amount of anger that I was put in this situation, when I didn’t ask for it.  I wish every day that he was still here. 

My dad was always my cheerleader,  once a week he would ask me how my weight loss was going. He helped keep my accountable. On my birthday (the last time I saw him alive) he knew I was doing low carb, so he made sure to make me low carb (eggplant) lasagna.  I haven’t known what to with my feelings of grief and anger, so, usually on Sundays (when he would call) I would lock my self in my room,  have a movie marathon, and eat popcorn and unhealthy snacks and candies.  Once a week, I gave myself permission to feel, to mourn and to be angry as hell that my dad is gone.  People grieve in all manner of ways, and this has been mine. Judge me if you want, I don’t care. 

When I started my weight loss journey of 2020, my planned reward was a cruise. In 2021 it got cancelled, so I rescheduled it, with the mantra that my dad unknowingly impressed upon me in the wake of his departure, that you only live once, enjoy it while you can. We all end up in the same place. So I decided to take the cruise anyway.  It was such a blast,  if I could I would do it every year. I loved the cruise so much, because I didn’t have to worry about anything, and the cast and crew on board,  made me feel so loved. But, I look back on the pictures, and realized how huge I was. 

I have toyed with the idea of going back on 310 or medifast. But I like real food, so much better. 

A few weekends ago, I went to Knott’s Berry Farm with my kiddos and their mom, and I got kicked off of a ride for being too large. That was probably the most humiliating thing to have ever happened in my life. 

The next day after we returned, I went on Keto, full steam ahead.  In order to keep myself aligned, I have been doing meal prep on Sundays, for the week ahead.  I make meals, and on Mondays, I take them in my lunch bag (which I had to get because some jackass kept eating/throwing my food away at work.) And thats where my meals live for the whole week. So far, so good.  I got a smoker last summer, and I absolutely love that thing. I usually smoke my meat on Saturdays or Sundays. 

Now, here is the problem. I know that I have events/vacations coming up.  I know I don’t want to “cheat” but at the same time, I want to enjoy the events and the people we are celebrating. In a few weeks time, I will be celebrating my siblings’ birthday (we have always celebrated them together, because they are just a few days apart.) It looks like this year it will just be Dean, my sister and I, due to my brothers preposterous behavior. I’m debating weather I want to shove his behavior under the rug, or stick to my long standing stance that I don’t reward for bad behaviors.  But, to celebrate my sisters birthday,  I made reservations for the old spaghetti factory (we don’t have one in Vegas) And to celebrate my birthday, I have reservations for Hell’s Kitchen. Can I have enough restraint in me to have a couple of cheat days, and then go right back on my journey???

Of course, I got side tracked. 

The day I weighed in on my first day of doing Keto, I was 255 pounds. That is the heaviest, and ugliest I have ever been.  

My first weigh in after that (one week) I was registering at 247 pounds. 

Today (exactly two weeks later) I weigh in at. 245.

Non scale victory; 2 weeks ago I was wearing size 24 pants. On Saturday, I fit into and bought size 18. 

Oh, and to shock you all: I am heavily looking into bariatric surgery. I’m so sick of the yo-yo diets. But for now Keto is working until I successfully find a more permanent solution.  I’m scared that most bariatric surgeries in town take place at the hospital in tent city, and I don’t want to go there.  

Can't think of a nifty title

 Here's a weekly round up.  

Ended up  on antibiotics again (I've I mentioned I have been on them pretty steadily since June?). I  Started feeling a lot worse, so I finally went to urgent care, I have E.Coli in my kidney's- that was resistant to the first round of antibiotics. Life sucks. They gave me a new antibiotic. 

 On Thursday, a coworker said "Hey T. You're losing weight!" I responded with No. Sh*%, and we laughed. 

In the realm of work:  my position at my favorite job was illuminated. But they cerated a new position for me. I don't really want to talk about it "publicly" but text me if you want the info. This does mean I will have a schedule change though. On some days I will be working 7am to 11pm. Thats fantastic. 

It goes without saying I'm not feeling week so here's the stats: 

I weigh in 227 now. My size 40 pants I just bought a few weeks ago, are starting to feel loose. But I don't want to buy anymore new clothes until I cross the 200 mark. 

Can I hit 225 next week?

Checking in

 Hello People. 

Today I hit 229. I made it! I landed in the 220s! I would like to hit 220 before September 8 (picture day at work)... Can I do that???? 

Not much else to talk about.  But I have 260 days to lose 75 more pounds. Can I do that??? 

Weekly update

 Hello People.  

I'm gong to make this short and sweet.  My motivation for this weight loss escapade changed from May, 2021, to October 2021, back to May 2021.  And my shenanigans ore official, just so you know.   I have to be at my goal, in 268 days.  Holy hell.  That's daunting. 

This week I went to three fitness classes (two spinning, one kickboxing), last week I went to the dance one (that's the one in highest demand at the gym), you have to register now for them, so they sell out pretty quick. 

On Wednesday I ordered postmates,  Hamburger, low-carb style. When I went to put it in my app, it told me it was still 700 calories. Holy Hell. Learned my lesson. 

Today the scale read 232. It read 234 last week (I dind't have time to post- but I was upset it wan so little- but I also knew I had some issues with my physiological system last week). 

Can I hit the 220's next week?  YES! (Hopefully!)  I'm certainly going to try! 

Down

This will be short and sweet. I weighed in this morning, because yesterday was a flurry of getting called in for a proposed 12 hour shift,  followed by a 6 hour shift at the county. Don't worry, I compromised, but it left not being able to weigh in yesterday. Although, I did consider taking my scale to work with me, so that I could weigh in.  Read that again. I'm that dedicated to this. 

This week, I've been doing the shakes and eating healthy. On Sunday night I found myself absolutely starving, and being dizzy (blood sugar was probably too low)- so I ordered a carb free burger from postmates. It got the job done. Yesterday, a coworker ordered everyone thai food.  I got green curry, but didn't eat the rice. I ate the curry like a soup.  Laugh at me now, understand later. 

Bad news: My reason for this journey of weightloss, sank. I heard of this yesterday, and my heart was so broken. I almost thought it gave me a reason to quit. Then I found a solution.  Don't worry, plans were adjusted- it means I will have to keep the weigh off longer.  I guess we can call that motivation for maintaining. I'll have to be okay with the new plan.  It also means that I will have to keep the weight off longer. That's all the information your going to get right no (text me if you are curious). 

In other bad news: I began to love the winco peanut butter, and it is now taped off again due to covid... we found another all natural one, so we shall see if we like that one too. 

Here's this week check in: 

Scale Read 235. that is 20  pounds in 48 days on this program. 

35 since my highest. 

I am now wearing a shirt my dad gave me, that I've never been able to fit in. 

Subtraction Saturday.

Okay. I'm slowly figuring out how to get photos up on this (blogger changed its format during the time I was MIA).

Okay, this is a two week round up. Last week I was on vacation.  Here is the update on my shenanigans on my trip:

Wednesday, I went out with some friends. I got a tri tip salad, it was so good. But it was even better to be with good friends. 

Thursday I woke up at the hotel, and had a chocolate shake, without any fruit mix ins. It wasn't too shabby.  I used my travel blend jet blender... People have told me it doesn't have the power to actually blend mix-ins, but I didn't have any to begin with, so I made do with just the shake and chia seeds.  I also went to another friend's house, and she had a salad for me. Super thoughtful. It was so great to be with friends both on Wednesday and Thursday, with people who care about me, love me, support me, and respect me. I think I have been starving for those things for years in my own home. 

Friday. It was my birthday. I don't believe in cheat days, my philosophy is either you are doing the program, or you are not.  We had lasagna for dinner (the most carb loaded thing I can think of!).  My dad made me my own healthier version. He made me eggplant lasagna. It was good (I like the sauce he made, all homemade).  But he also made peach cobbler (from home grown peaches) I'm pretty sure they forgot it was my birthday until Dean texted them and reminded them of the event, but whatever. Definitely not the first time. Okay, back to the cobbler. I've told him I am doing no sugar no carbs. But I know there was sugar in the peach cobbler.  But it was my birthday, so I had a small portion. But I also gave the topping (made out of bisquick, which I can't stand to begin with); to my sister.  They wanted garlic bread with their lasagna,  so I went into the store to get it. While I was there I looked for, and found Keto ice cream (I thought only Costco sold that scrumptious stuff).   At first I didn't buy any (it was 7 bucks for a pint!), but we went to another store, and found it for 5 bucks, and got it, to go with my peach cobbler "birthday cake". I was hesitant to try it... but it was so dang good! The associate person said they sell a lot of that brand. The Brand is Rebel, if anyone wants to know. I love the name, because I am UNLV (Rebel) Alumni. Haha.

Saturday, we ate eggs and ham for breakfast, and then leftovers the rest of the day.  I saw a scale in my dad's bathroom, so I jumped on it. It read 240. I thought it was good I wasn't over that. And I know it may be different configurations, not the same scale, lady-ness, etc. And I headed home to Vegas. I had road trip snacks (no sugar added-dried fruit anyone).  So good, but there was coins in the bag, I didn't notice them until they were in my mouth, so that was fun. 

Okay, the travel log is over. Let's get to this week. It's been a blur of working a lot, being exhausted from the trip, being in mental anguish from the mortal departure of a loved one, and just overall hurting. Oh, and I'm sick too. I'm not sure what I have. My first two guesses were strep throat and or inner ear infection.  Could be covid since they  seemingly change the symptoms every other day (don't worry ya'll, I was tested on Tuesday. That sucked with an already sore throat.).  I feel like it's spin the wheel, and see where you land, and that's what you have. `Anyway, I'm back on antibiotics for what I self diagnosed as strep throat, and ordered the antibiotics from callondoc. I can't take the antibiotics on just a shake, but I'm still eating whole healthy foods, and my shakes for lunch.

Okay, I took a week off of Child Haven for my trip and for some Rest and Relaxation (that didn't really happen),  but I got back to work on Wednesday.  During the day, I got called over to the desk, thinking I was in trouble. Someone said "So, I've noticed you are dropping quite a few pounds over there. What are you doing?" Insert me having to explain my shenanigans. You all know my shenanigans, so I will save you the stories I told this person. But they said that they had underestimated me.   But when I explained my shenanigans to them, I was accused of having a guy on the side.  Long story short, I'm going to give this person a sample pack I have. They are interested in it.   It felt good that someone noticed. Another person said they were proud of me, and offered to get me something from the store that is on my diet plan when there was a grill-day. I declined, and just had my shake.  This person made a comment to another person that it will be my fault that they stop cooking for the campus. I don't know how that's my fault. haha. 

Another person saw my shake and asked me what it was. I told them a protein shake with chia seeds. Then they wanted to instigate an argument about what it was, and what it does to you (bathroom habits), but I disagreed with their ideas, because I haven't experienced what I was accused of experiencing. 

I've been wanting peanut butter with my apples and bananas. So I just got the fresh stuff from Winco.  Dean and I agreed it's an acquired taste. But it's my option, so I will eat it.

Okay. Here is the fun part of the week. I wore a size 3x shirt to work. (I had just bought them). I looked in the mirror and realized, I was having severe wardrobe malfunctions (showing off the underclothing).  I borrowed a coworker,  who also is very conscious of modesty, and had her take a stapler to my shirt. It worked. It was hilarious, but it worked.

 My stapled shirt. It kinda looked like a dress.

Okay, that is the two week round up. 

Here are the stats: I now weigh 237. 

Can I be under 235 next week? Stay Tuned. 

Update

Here's a quick check in: The scale reads today at a whopping 240. 

I have hit the 15 pound mark.  The lose it app says that is the weight of a large bowling ball.  They have cute sayings. Yesterday it told me it was the weighed of a watermelon. 

I might weigh in on Tuesday just to see, but maybe not, cause it should be the same time, same wardrobe, each and every time. Yes,  I know I'm not supposed to weigh in daily, but I was so excited to hit 240, like a wacko. And I'm okay with that. 

Checkin in Before Checking out

Okay. *may contain some ugly words* lol 

I'll try to make this short and sweet. 

Went to whole foods yesterday and got some "healthy snacks" for my trip. I have now turned into the person that reads the labels, on everything, before it goes in the cart.  Looking at the carbs, sugar and fiber grabs. I am sure it drives everyone around me insane (Dean included), but I only exist in this universe for me, and no one else. 

I got stuff like no sugar -grass fed jerky, almonds, pork rinds, etc. 

Dean has done nothing but complain about the cost of this diet since I jumped on the boat (it's cheaper than Medifast); but I'm eating healthier versions of food. He is still convinced that a box of mac and cheese, consists of a great, wholesome meal.  He's also firmly working through eating a dozen donuts, by himself. In three days time.  Yesterday I texted my childhood best friend that if dude complains about my diet one more time,  I'm going to need help hiding some remains. As I was typing it, the gripe fest from him ignited. I just bit his head off- I can't take Dean the asshole complaining about me and what I'm doing one more time. I just can't.   

I am aiming to go back to Minus Mondays (only cause I like the sounds of it), but maybe Saturday is probably the best bet. 

I've been digging some smaller sized clothes out of my closet. Yesterday, I decided to try something on, just to see if I could fit (I haven't been able to in a couple of years.  

AND IT FIT!!!! My Starting size (in women's- was a tight 24.)  But I mostly wear mens cloths, and started out at 46. I had to special order my pants from work from the internet, as stores don't up that high in size.  I fit into an 18 yesterday. Oh, and I also got two new sport's bra's (for the first time, ever name brand ones), that are a size smaller. I guessed at what would fit (fitting rooms are still locked up), got them home, they fit and are comfy! 

So, here is today's stats.  I weight in at a whopping 241. (that's four pounds since Sunday). I was really hoping hit the 230's this week. But you know, safe weight loss and all. 

Can I hit the 30's, while on being on vacation for 4 days??? Let's find out. 

I won't be posting next Saturday, I'll be in California with my family.  But probably will  on Monday. 

Marching On!

Do you ever have days, moments, weeks, when you feel like you are going to have a nervous breakdown? Thats been my week. 

I've been living off of  not enough sleep. Family Heartbreaks. Drama at work. You name it. 

This morning was the worst of it.  As of last Friday, we are mandated to wear masks when outside of our homes. Work have had the same rules at work for months, but I always gotten away with not wearing one, because I was by myself in a mansion of a house. I mean, who was I protecting from getting the virus, the scorpions?  So now I have to wear a mask because we have people staying there again. 

Yesterday, a coworker made everyone breakfast, including pancakes. I didn't eat those.  Eventually I told the chef I hadn't had any carbs in multiple weeks, they responded that that's good. One coworker saw me drinking my shake, and kind of made fun of me for it. This person has always been ranked my least likely person to be around).  But I marched on.  This person's comments  and opinions I have never held in much care for. 

Today, I drank my shake at my normal time (3am). Noticed on the bag of my frozen fruits, that it actually expired in February of 2018. I despise eating expired foods (I've gotten food poisoning way too many times.)  But I figured I must have had consumed it multiple days prior, so I marched on! 

At work this morning,  I got "sick". Like felt like I couldn't breathe. Felt like it may be asthma. Took my mask off, and just sat there. Eventually I took my inhaler. I didn't think I could do the drive home (30 minutes), but marched on. Got home.  And just stood at the entryway. I couldn't even talk to Dean. He was asking me stuff, and I couldn't muscle up a response. Then I thought, maybe I just needed to eat something. I ate almost two string cheeses (Nala bear shares with me), some pickles, and an egg. Pickles have always been good at curing my dizzy spells. I kneeled next to the fridge, and ate some. I was probably dehydrated too. But I relaxed on the couch for a bit, and felt better. Before that I couldn't even look at my phone screen without it dancing around. I don't know what was wrong, but I really wanted to go to the gym, but as soon as I started feeling crappy at work, I decided to just not. 

Fast forward: I wanted  sausage links and cabbage from the store, and spaghetti squash.  I decided not to go today (tomorrow is payday). Ended up in a dog chase in my car (not involving my dogs),  once the incident was under control, I thought, well I'm out now. May as well. Then I realized I was wearing socks, with slides (huge fashion mistake), but then I thought,  what the hell, I don't exist in the universe for anyone but me.  I marched on, and went anyway. 

On my way there, some lady motioned me to turn into the parking lot of a church that supports the HIV community (which is great). We always see the line of cars for this event, but never stopped.  We knew it was a food giveaway, but we typically go to the one sponsored by the LDS church. We thought the HIV one was for only that group (and I love how there is a church that supports them). But they had no body there today, which may be indicative of our economy stabilizing, for now.  So I went in and ended up getting several cases of free food. You never know what's in them, until you get home. This weeks round up was mostly stuff I can't eat ( 2 cases of bread); sodas, etc. So I was disappointed, and will probably rehome most of the stuff to coworkers. 

But then, there was a bunch of protein stuff I can eat! Eggs, chicken, sausages (that I had actually forgotten to pick up at the store), and bison. (Never had that before, so I'm not sure how to cook it, so this could be an adventure.  I was excited to see this! 

Anyway, no stats today, but my pants that I just bought because all of my other pants were too big and holy, are now too big! I forgot a belt the other day, my coworker fixed me up with  zip tie, and life just marched on!

 

( I was trying to upload photos, but can't seem to right now.). Oh well. 

 

BOOM!

Hey Ya'll.... 

 

Just a quick update.  Yesterday I decided to try the mega boost supplement, it's supposed to help your metabolism. I think it's raising my blood pressure, I have really low blood pressure, so I can definitely feel the difference. But it's also giving me a lot more energy.  I should probably only take it at night (my morning), so I can sleep during the day.  

Chia Seeds: stupid things keep getting stuck in my teeth.  Almost didn't run a couple of errands this morning because of it (noticed it in the car), then realized I have to wear a mask anyway, and no one will know the difference. I still think they are the perfect solution to keep me full. 

But for kicks and giggles, I decided to jump on the scale today, and see where I am landing. Yes, I know I'm not supposed to weigh myself everyday, just let me enjoy my parade.  (This is the first time I've weighed consecutive days on this program). Dean wasn't home (he's working 12 hours at Target today), so I figured I could weigh myself in privacy, without causing an issue. 

Today, it read 245.  That is a total of 10 pound loss in 20 days (I thought they scale might be a little off yesterday, do to where I am in the cycle of lady-ness). 

I'm damn happy, and proud about this.  90 to go. Hopefully soon it will say 80, then on and on.  Can I get the scale to read 242 this week??? We shall see.   No one has noticed my weight loss at work yet, but they've stopped offering me cake, sandwiches, etc.  I've just been telling them I'm doing no carbs, and they leave me alone.  But my lovely coworker bought me a mint plant (I like to put cucumber and mint in my infuser bottle),  they are supporting me, but not asking too many questions.  I think they are going to start bugging me around halloween, when shrinkage becomes noticeable.  Oh, I got a package of tea in my sample pack, gave it to a coworker, she fell in love with, and bought her own box (detox tea), she's maybe 90 pounds soaking wet, so doesn't need to lose any weight. 

Oh, you wanna know what I'm wearing right now? Exercise clothes I haven't fit in, in probably three years.  Let's face this week, head on. 

Weekly Shenanigans

Hello Folks. It's Minus Monday on Saturday again. This coming Monday will be another manic Monday of working from 10:30pm Sunday night, until 2 pm, and then doing it all again at 10pm to 2pm on Tuesday.   

So, let's review this week. Monday and Tuesday: Time didn't permit going to the gym. Wednesday: went to a yoga class, Woke up so sore. Thursday: Went to a dance class, had so much fun. Probably looked like an idiot, but most people did. I've learned to let go and not give a flying rat about what others think of me.  Friday, went to a spin class at a gym location near my work. I'm trying to find classes that fit into my schedule right after work. I like going straight to the gym before I go home, cause I know that once I get home, its unlikely that I will be heading to the gym. On Wednesday, my little heart was intent on hitting the pool, it was the first day they would be open since March.  But, that didn't happen. There was a swim team in the pool before I got there. So, I just hit the hot tub.  

Okay, Meals that I remember this week: Grilled avacodo tacos (the avocado is the shell), burger patties with zucchini "fries", and are the only things that come to mind (my most recent ones). 

I am biking 600 miles before June 1, 2021; and I was disappointed to find out the bikes in spin class don't tell you the distance, but I am figuring I did 8, because I can do for miles in 25 minutes, and the class was an hour.  I can just assume that's the count, but there's no way to know for sure. 

Anyway: review on the apple watch. Dean finally noticed it, on Thursday night. An entire week later.  I'm sure there is a way to know how to see your past workouts, but I haven't figured that out.  Right when I went to check out bank account online, it beeped at me and told me to breath and take deep breaths, not funny apple. Not funny. Haha. 

Review on the shakes:   I got a new shipment yesterday: I ditched the vanilla in my order, got a chocolate one, and a salted caramel one.  I haven't tried the Caramel one yet,  I will probably today.  I've started added chia seeds into them, and it seems to be just the trick I need to keep me full for longer- I'm only putting in half of one serving  of them(one table spoon); but I am finding that after one shake (about 200 calories with fruit add ins), I am not hungry for the rest of the day; I'm having to have to force myself to eat the healthy meal. 

I've also organized them into containers- I got so sick of a ton of packets taking up my very minimal counter space. 

I've been adding everything (food consumption and workouts) in the lose it app, And once I do that, all the calories seem to disappear, so I'm not too sure what that's all about.  Some scientific math algorithm, I'm sure. 

I bought myself a workout shirt (only because I had to buy something to keep my lane bryant credit card active) for 11 bucks, But I'm not sure if it's intended as a dress or shirt.  haha. During spin class yesterday, I had to tie a knot in the shirt, as it was too long. 

Alright: Let's get down to business this week. Today I weighed in at a whopping 247 pounds. That's another 2 pounds lost.  I'll take it.  Hopefully I'll hit 245 next week. The following week I'll be out of town, so I don't know what my plan will be. 

Did I break 250 or not??

Hey cyberspace stalkers (all like two of you!) 

I normally check in on Monday's (to mirror the accountability that I did back in the day). But this Monday will be a flurry of of working from 10:30pm- 4pm, and then doing it all again the next day. So it's Saturday Check in this week. 

Last weekend I got put on antibiotics. I learned the hard way that when the prescription bottle says "take with food" it means a hearty meal, and not a protein shake.  I didn't want to drink the shake for a few days after (once you tase it in reverse, you have an aversion to it.)  Because I have to take the antibiotics at meals,  I chose to forgo the shakes, and just eat healthy.  I didn't want to repeat the mistake again. I despise being sick. 

On Wednesday: I bought myself an Apple Watch.  I have a lot to learn about it for sure.  I'm still getting use to wearing it. Dean hasn't noticed it. Or maybe he has, and just hasn't said anything. 

Thursday:  I drank part of a shake at work.  That was the only shake I had since Tuesday.  

Friday:  I felt beyond drained. Like those days, you cuddle up with the furry kids, turn on a (really food) Netflix movie and relax so hard. So, that's what I did.  I felt like I needed that time. Life's been pretty stressful lately, I haven't had a day off of work since I got quarantined, and without my birthday vacation coming up,  I would't have a day off until August 15.  (My last non-quarentiend day off was March 21.) When Dean got home, we ran some errands, we braved Costco, where I bought zucchini noodles, and bought myself Keto Ice cream popsicle (that's what happens when a Kellogg meets Diet food); haha. 

I also have not gone to the gym since the reverse-ology.  I just new I needed to take things slow.  But this morning my brain said "I'm starting to feel lighter. I wonder what I weigh?" So, I jumped on the scale, and the numbers read 249.  I broke through the 250's. YAY. I continued to lose weight, without the aid of the shakes this week.  I'm still logging my food into the Lose it app, and I'm kind of surprised to see  a lot of it is registering as carbs (I eat fruits, veggies, and protein, and that's it). 

I'm nervous though, because in 18 days, I will not be at home. I will be on a semi-vacation in Fresno. The question becomes can I/ how do I stay on plan?  I like to munch on beef jerky while I drive (it helps keep me awake); what is a good, alternative for the road trip munchies??? 

So, update. I bought Keto Ice Cream bars for me (they are permitted in the plan as a snack, most people are doing keto along with 310). Dean asked if I needed help with a home improvement project (hanging towel bars); I said yes, in just a minute. I got the tools set up in the back bathroom, came out to find him to start the project, and found him eating my Keto Ice Cream bars, with a look of "maybe she won't notice." I'm trying not to be furious. 

Oh, and in the most fabulous news! My gym's locker room, and swimming pool are opening on Wednesday! My gym bag is already packed! YAY. Oh, and Dance Classes have resumed. I have a spot in the Wednesday class (due to Covid, you have to pre-register for the classes, and they sell out fast). 

So, I crossed the 250 mark, that's good news. And the gym is continuing to open, that's good news. And, I got myself an apple watch, so that's also good news. 

Week 1

Okay,  here is week one check in. 

I aimed to go to the gym 6 days a week.  I missed Thurdsday, it was a flurry of a day with court and appointment, and errands, you know, adult stuff. 

I made up for it on Friday. 

I also decided I'm going to bike 600 Miles before June 1, 2021 (that's a specific number for a specific reason). I toyed with the idea of 2,000 (also a significant number-text me if you are curious about the numbers); but didn't want to set myself to fail. 

Check in on the shakes: Tried the chocolate shake. Love it! But I still feel very, very, hungry. People in the facebook group are telling me to add seeds to it (chia, flax, etc) to make them  be more fillign. Anyone know anything about those? 

I attempted to have two shakes a day. On Monday and Friday, unforeseen circumstances made that impossible, they spilled at work, and there was nothing to do to fix it. On Friday, my coworker spilled it out of the fridge, onto the brand new flooring (literally less than 24 hours old). She felt so bad, she kept asking me if I wanted her sandwich, wanted her to make me a sandwich, her chips, etc. I wanted to not tell anyone I am on this diet, but then I had to. To get them to shut up and stop offering me their foods. Then they tried to convince me their chips are good for you. 

Dean has been doing nothing but griping about my diet.  He says it cost too much. I'm also inputting everything I consume into an app. Dean gripes about that, because it wouldn't work for him, it's too much work. Thats what he says. He says I don't think I know how much this diet is really costing with the shakes, and the fruits to add in. I made myself chicken and cauliflower yesterday, he griped about that.  I wish I could just do me, without the rude and unnecessary comments, but that's my life. 

Oh, since I am into counting calories, and exercise now, guess what I am going to do for myself? I am going to buy myself an early birthday present! You can guess what it is. Okay, I'll tell you. An apple watch. Probably the cheapest one out there, but ya know.  I was going to buy it last week, but then I realized it would probably be on sale this week (ahead of Father's day), and Dean's new employee discount activates tomorrow, so I will be stacking the savings! I already have a super cute band for it, it's hiding out in my nightstand.  (PS; I deserve a gift to myself, right?). 

I've been sticking to the plan like nobodies business. No sugar. No carbs (that aren't in fruit/veggies), No Soda, etc.  Most people in the facebook designate themselves cheat days, but I want to be 1000% all in. 

Okay, let's get to the nitty gritty details about this. 

Scale now reads 252 (that is a 3 pound loss in one week). I'm actually pretty sure it was four (it was on Friday), but lady business makes it 3 this particular week. And I'm sick with other ailments too. So sick, that I am not going to the gym today. Don't worry, I saw Dr. Internet, and I am on a course of antibiotics now, and other meds to keep the symptoms of the infection at bay (yes, I used the internet to get prescriptions in the middle of the night.). 

But, to completely honest a few months ago I was tipping the scales at 260. So, I guess I should be proud of my progress. I wish I lost 20 pounds this week, but I did not. Probably an accumulation of a bunch of stuff. Being on meds that make you gain weight doesn't help. 

Can I break the 250 mark this week? That is the question!  

Hello y’all.

Today it’s day 2 of me being on the 310 shakes and diet.

Shakes: it took me two hours to get threw the first one. Apparently there are some tricks and hacks I wasn’t aware of. Like If you use frozen fruits and veggies, then you don’t use ice. And also blend the shake powered for a long while to get rid of the chalky taste, before adding in the fruits and veggies.


Yesterday I only had one and half shakes. One ended up being blown away in the vegas wind.  But I’m feeling hungry like less than two hours after having a shake.  I now know that I definitely need those two healthy snacks in between!

Today, I’m on my second shake. I need to figure out what to eat for my sensible dinner though. Yesterday I threw some tuna, avocado mayo, and peas together and called it a day. (I had 10 minutes to figure it out) I know chicken good option, but I ate so much of it on Medifast. I kinda don’t really want any more of it. Until forever but I’ll eat it if I have too.


So, I got to figure out what healthy snack options are (no carbs).  And healthy dinners.

Here are some photos for your entertainment purposes

Me trying my very first shake. My uncles voice popped in my head. He always said it take 16 tries of something to decide if you like it. Kept moving onward. 

This is my new friend.. I think I've had five refills today. I love the fruit flavors being added. 

A week ago, I could barely do 3 flights (and that was a freaken nightmare of a struggle). Today, I did 10 flights! On stairs! I am scared to death of stairs because of my accident. I had to push the emergency stop button today. My shoe lace got stuck in between two stairs, gave me a huge heart attack. 

Today, throwing back a shake, while in my car. Waiting for a postdates dinger to go off (my third, side job). 

What I ate yeserday, a whopping 871 Calories 

Today, I ate 644, and I actually feel really stuffed. 

PS. Dean says I should eat the alligator (canned) that we have in the pantry for protein.

Let's Get ready to Rumble

Hello Ya'll

(I think its basically one person reading this nonsense), but that's okay. Hopefully this blog makes sense, I'm feeling a little high from a breathing treatment. Thanks to someone at work who sprays aerosols and agitates the bugs in my lungs, called asthma.

Well, the world has slowly reopened.  My gym opened on Saturday, and I have been there every day since, except Sunday. Even though I identify myself as agnostic now, some of the LDS things, I just can't seem to shake.

Gym update: I've been branching out and trying new machines. I think I have tried every machine in the Women's Gym. Oh, and a super proud moment. I got on the stair climbers, twice this week! When I had my accident in 2018 when I fell off the stupid ladder at Target.  I can't climb 20 flights on the stupid machine, but I can do a few.

Okay, So I have read that telling people your workouts are annoying, so we are going to get to the diet portion of this.  I ordered my stuff on June 1st.  It arrived yesterday.  2 of the shakes did anyway. I also ordered a 9 dollar sample box the day after, I guess it should be here on Tuesday.  I never got any shipment updates from the box that I got yesterday, which made me already have a bad taste in my mouth. When I looked at my order to see a tracking update, it would say that they couldn't locate my order. Ah well. It's here now. Oh, someone should ask me what's so ironic about this company??? Okay, since a blog is a monologue, I will tell you.... there's a call center for this company here in Vegas.... right down the street from one of my jobs (RMH!).

Anyway, I'm off topic again (maybe thats just my style!). I wanted to start the program today, but it's the anniversary of Dean's Dad's graduation from mortality, we are going out to eat in remembrance of him.  So, I postponed it one day.   I don't want to start the diet on failure day.

Okay, so let's get to the ingredients of this... who wants to know something? I'm an idiot. I didn't look at the ingredients (I didn't want whey or soy after my medifast stunt)... this has hemp powder. Apparently it's the cousin of marijuana. I guess that might explain that there virtually no LDS people I found on the program. I'm in the facebook group of 310, and I asked a question regarding LDS diet restrictions regarding this program and asked for an LDS identified person to answer. I only got one.  I asked if they take the supplements. When I looked at the supplements for those, they contained coffee and tea  extracts, so I'm wondering if they are in line with the LDS advisement against tee and coffee.

So, the diet suggest one or 2 meal replacement shakes each day, but here is the kicker, you can add anything you want to them (fruits, veggies, peanut butter, booze, etc), you just have to chart your intakes. I'm considering doing three shakes a day, with just fruit and veggies added; I'm not sure how that will play out though.  You can have one "sensible meal" a day too. Basically, more protein, veggies and fruit, and not pasta.

Okay,  I super duper want a an apple watch (the cheaper 200 buck one).  I was going to get one the past week, but then I realized that I might get super lucky, and they might go on Sale next week for Father's day.  I was going to buy one off of amazon, but amazon warehouse literally went up in flames, and I'd kinda rather buy new sparkly one, and not one that might be refurbished. I'm impatiently waiting for Target's Fathers day add to be out.

I've never publicly share all my stats, but what the heck, why not.
Stats: Starting Weight 255.
Bust Inches: 47
waist 49
hips 54

First Small Goal: 235, then 210, then under 200. I'd like to be Under 200 by Halloween; I don't know if I can lose weight as fast as I did on medifast though.
Final Goal weight: 155.

Damn. Those stats are taunting.  Do I  have the willpower???

I think I'm going to check in on Mondays, it just appears I work 14 hours tomorrow, so I that won't be happening, so this is my first check in.   My supplies arrived yesterday, tonight technically starts my Monday, so the train is leaving the station! At 9:30pm, tonight (by normal "breakfast" time).

Oh, and just for pure entertainment purposes, here are some photos.

Round 2

Hello,  people. I have gone MIA for months, if not years.

Most of you have also probably noticed that there is not very many pictures of me on facebook. That is because I HATE how I look. Like shoot me in the head, I don't like it.

So, of course, that causes a problem. I need to fix it. I have something  HUGE coming up (next year), that I want to look fabulous for. (only like 6 people on the planet know what I am talking about; Dean's not one of them).

That means I need to find a way to shrink. I have toyed with the idea of Medifast-- dabbled on the website (I have a coworker who is currently using  Medifast to lose weight, and it's nothing short of admirable.) She's been inspiring me to lose weight. Medifast has gotten uber expensive, so it really isn't an option for me.

In December,  I made a vow to myself to go to the gym 6 times a week. I was- until the government told me I couldn't (thanks Covid-19). Yesterday my gym reopenend- and guess where I was? There at the gym. Of course I didn't run a 5 minute mile like I did when I was in junior high, but I think any exercise is better than none.  And of course my two favorite things are not currently available (swimming and group classes), but I did do some cardio and some weight machines.  Shortly before the world shut down I was able to lift 380  pounds (the max) on one of the leg machines, I doubt I can do that now.  I couldn't use that machine yesterday, so I'll have to wait until Tuesday to see where I stand on the machine.  Right now all of the machines are color coded to allow for social distancing, and yesterday was yellow day- you could only use the yellow machines. The blue ones were supposed to be off limits.

Anyway, I'm off topic.  I have been wanting to find a meal replacement program again (for much cheaper than 400 a month). I was talking to another coworker (she and her mom are into fancy stuff like that).  She suggested Amway. I googled it, and stumbled upon another program, that appears to be better. I saw a chart with the good and bad about several products- to my untrained eye, this program looked to better, and fit what I was wanting.

I'm 99% sure I'm going to give the program a spin.  It seems like you drink the meal replacement shakes twice a day (with any fruit you want added; something that was the devils work on medifast), and a sensible meal. Two small snacks are allowed (healthy ones of course. Probably not chocolate covered popcorn).

About a week ago I bought a fruit infuser water bottle, I have been using that.  also I bought a personal travel blender online, it should be here next week. I think I am going to buy the products on Friday (payday).  So, everything should arrive about the same time.

I was cruising through the internet and found a ton of happy folks, who are happy with their progress on this program, so I am going to give it a try. The program is called 310, and I can still go to the gym on it. Its less calories than the 2,000 recommended, but it's more than the starvation diet medifast was. So, I think it will be a happy medium.

Should I check in weekly like I did all those years ago? With weight's noted, and photos and such? Or is it too much?

And just so you know, I'll need supporters and cheerleaders again. Cause I'm a lame folk like that.

Day 1

Checking in.

This  morning, I woke up and did do a few minutes of you-tube guided yoga. Not bad. But the lady-instructor person looked, and sounded just like out pet nanny.  It was slightly annoying, but it definitely wasn't her. 

Well, anyway, I went to work and then to the gym.  I got there way early for the class so I used the elliptical for a bit, I also did 64 stairs... which is a huge accomplishment because after my accident, I loathe stairs, but I made it.

I completed my first ever cycle class. That wasn't half bad. There was only four participants and the teacher, everyone was nice enough.    Then I went to the dance-type class.  I am pretty sure it wasn't the same one I went to previously. This one,  some of the moves were okay.  Some of them were extremely risque, which I refuse to participate in.  She also had some people in the class try and freak dance with other participants. Disgusting.  Also, more revolting was the lyrics to some of the music. One of the songs spoke about gun violence, and she had choreographed the moves to have people to pretend to shoot with their finger. I found it vile, inappropriate, and disgusting, especially with the first anniversary of the Vegas shooting just days away.   As much I (used to) loving dancing, I do not foresee that I will go back to that particular gal's class, but I will work to find another one with  a different teacher.

After all of this, we went out to the Cheesecake Factory (to celebrate me moving on from the Shade Tree), I got steak and vegetables, it came with rice, but I didn't eat it. I wanted to change it for a side salad, but it would have cost more. 

I don't think that was too shabby for the day. 

Fat-T-Land

Hello, Everybody!

I told you (over a year and a half ago) that I would check in periodically, so here I am. Hahaha. Welcome to Fat-T-Land.

Well, my battle to lose weight is still an up-hill losing battle.   Guess what, I am considering doing weight loss surgery, pipe down everyone. It would be in the far distance,  because right at this moment, I don't even have health insurance.

Well, this past year and a half has been a battle from hell. I enjoyed yoga, swimming and bicycling at the (0ld) local gym.  Then, I was in an accident and became broken.  I fell off a ladder at my old work, and ended up with a concussion and torn vertebra's. Life sucked. To this day, I still have days where a normal level of functioning is not plausible without ingesting 800mg of ibuprofen with breakfast in the morning. 

I was in rehab for months. Several long, irritating months. When I say rehab, I mean physical therapy... you know where the doctors are that get paid to make you exercise, no matter how painful it may be.  I exercised there quite a bit.  But didn't make any use of the "real"gym. We ended up buying a house, no where near the 24hour fitness gym. So I cancelled it. Eventually a bought a membership at the fan-favorite LVAC (Which is also 24-hours, and they are building one near our new home, YAY)... Problem is, I have gone a hand full of times, due to an insane work schedule it just hasn't fit in much. I have tried a few classes. I tried a dance-class one (while in my Target uniform);  I was there, and was watching it. I didn't have the appropriate work-out close  and decided to jump in the chaos anyway. I think I am going to try to go tomorrow too. Screw that, I will go tomorrow.  I am going to try cycling while I am at it.  Other classes that I tried was some weird mix of yoga and something else, and water-aerobics (that killed my back.)

Well, anyway, lets get to why I am writing this. Remember all that fabulous fat I shrunk a few years back?  I have weighed myself recently, and it has all blown up again. Every damn ounce.

I've been thinking of doing a weight loss surgery for a while now. My dad did, and I have scene some undesirable effects from that, so I want to avoid doing that.  Dean doesn't want me to, but then my old high school principal indirectly reminded me that is my body, and I can do what I want.  My goal is to lose 50 pounds by my birthday of 2019... and if its not achieved I will seek medical assistance. If it is determined that I need medical intervention,  and need the surgery, I will probably not tell Dean, and just do it anyway. 

I kind of started this journey a few days ago. I have been more mindful of what I have been eating, and am trying really hard to avoid the crappy foods. Meals lately have consisted of: Cabbage,  eggs, mushrooms, fruits,  etc. I dropped cabbage on the floor the other day, and my dog got some of it, and the look she gave me was priceless, it was like "what the heck is this crap, " I laughed hysterically.

So far, I have shrunken 5 pounds.

Oh, I bought some supplements, I bought that Garcinia Cambogia stuff (Dr. Oz recommended for weight loss) and Apple Cider Capsules (also to aid in weight loss... Have any of you tried either of these? I bought them a couple of months back, but I am worried that they will tear up my digestive system, anyone know anything about these things?  Oh, and I think before I go to work in the mornings, I am going to do yoga by way of a you-tube channel.  This should be fun.

I've been wanting to get back on the train for a while now,  so we wish me luck.  I will be checking in a lot. I need the accountability and the support, cause heaven knows I don't get it from Dean.

Now, none of ya'll really need to know this, but to release it out of my system and let go of the anger,  I need to just get it out. While we were walking the little Lucky girl last week at night, several teen-age-wanna-be-african-american-thugs (not that race matters, but its an accurate description of who these idiots were); were yelling at us "fat-ass bitch" for a good 15 minutes, we did nothing but ignore them (which probably infuriated them more)  but then they did approach us, as if  to attack us.   They wanted us to engage in a fight with them, but we didn't. (Lucky's too cute and sweet to be a very good guard dog.)  I was so wishing we still had "Chance" with us  (whom we think is a Rottweiler/ pit mix we saved from being abandoned to become road kill on the freeway in California. Dean says next time they bother us, he will just call the authorities.  But I am confused as to why they even made the comments, I have never scene the idiots before, and don't want to again. 

Back to the happy stuff: After work tomorrow I will go to the dance class, therefore I am off to pack my gym back. Happy Dancing!

Yoga Time

Hello People that click on random links on fb!

Just  thought I would post a small update about this weight loss journey stuff.

I gained weight back. I don't know how much, but I know that I did.  Some people have (rudely) asked if I am going to go back on Medifast. And the answer is definitely  not. I think it was a band aid for a gushing wound.  I'm pretty convinced that the body can't sustain itself on such a low calorie, high processed, fake food diet for very long. I did some research about all the soy protein stuff in medifast food, and no, I have no desire to eat it.

I wanted to make a change, so guess what I did: I joined a gym! I joined the 24 hour gym, which is right around the corner from our house. I have received from flack from friends here in Las Vegas because I didn't join the most popular gym here (Las Vegas Athletic Club).... I choose 24 hour fitness because of it's close proximity to my house, and it's a national brand.

Additionally, my food intake includes whole foods... For breakfast today I totally had grilled asparagus, grilled mushrooms, and orange... I'm so weird, but it's okay, it's my truth.

A couple of months ago, I decided to try a studio class that my gym offers for free.  I showed up to Yoga.... I used to think that only people who lived in rv's had sported the hippie look participated in yoga... But much to my surprise, I enjoyed it! I have continually gone back.  I am the youngest in the class (the gym has a much more "mature population." ) Which used to bother me, but then I decided to let it go, I go to the gym for myself; no one else.

I was presently surprised to discover that this particular yoga class reminded me a lot of dance conditioning class, back when I was dancing.... I also discovered that some of the poses that she does multiple times in a row, in high rate of change, I shouldn't do more than 3 times....  My brain aneurysm made sure to remind me it still exist. Cue very high dizziness and feeling like I was going to have a seizure. Last week I talked to the teacher  (also a UNLV alumni)  I told her my health concern, and we worked together to find accommodations for me. Success!

This gym going routine is about getting healthier, not necessarily getting skinner.

I do not currently know what my weight is. I kinda don't care. I feel like people are going to love and appreciate me for being Tiana,  regardless if I am a size 00, or size 100. This journey is for me, not for anyone else!

You may wonder why I chose yoga class to attend; because it fits in my schedule (for now; I'm hoping to get a full time job, which would bounce me out of this particular class).... but I believed I needed the constancy of "I have class on these times and dates"..... and since  I am at the gym to do yoga, I take that opportunity to do weight lifting and cardio... haha... I manipulate myself into doing more than just yoga! LOL.

I feel like I have made progress, for two reasons. When I first started going to the gym, I could barely do a mile on the bikes in under 12 minutes, on Tuesday I completed 2 miles in under 10 minutes..... and two pairs of my pants that I just bought in January.... are getting too big! HAHAHA.

I'll check in periodically, probably not weekly like before.