Holiday Train Wreck!

Weight loss blog:

Oh what a great day! The holidays are over! Anyone else gain any weight during the holidays?

We went to California for Christmas, and Utah the previous week….. It was so excited to see the look of shock on my family member’s faces. I was the recipient of MANY “Wow! You look Fabulous! I could hardly recognize you!” That felt good.  

Then we headed to California. We had way too much good food, and ended up eating out A LOT….I did something kind of stupid. I discovered where I could get sticky rice in Fresno!  You can’t get that stuff in Vegas, because we basically don’t have a Laotion population here, so that equates to no Hmong restaurants, which equates to no sticky rice! But, when I got lost trying to find an open supermarket, I found a Laotion restaurant with sticky rice! Dean allowed me to get some… I ordered a large, thinking that they would fill the container half-full…. Oh boy was I wrong… The stuffed the container…. I only ate a few bites before I was stuffed full. We brought the rest home… to quickly find out that it doesn’t keep well.  I threw it away, which is probably a very good thing.

 We also headed to my dad’s house, the chef. Having a chef for a dad equates to lots and lots of food….. and candy, and crap. Good food, just not good FOR you.  I admittedly ate too much… I was often the first one up,  and was very hungry so I may have ate whatever was on the counter, such as lemon meringue pie.... Yes, I ate pie at 5 in the morning. So what?

I kept having this recurrent ridiculous thought: If I am going to get pregnant next month, then it won’t matter what I eat now, since I will just get fat anyway…. I am pretty sure that is indeed the same mentality that caused me to become severely obese to begin with.

 

Oh, you want to what elected as the most amusing thing to occur in 2014?  Over the course of the holidays Dean and I acquired 108.88 ounces of chocolates and candy, that is nearly 7 pounds…This is 4,400 calories. 850 calories from fat… and 592 grams of sugar (plus some… who knows the breakdown of what the See’s gift cards will turn into) … some of the chocolates were gifts, some Dean scouring the clearance racks while we were Christmas shopping for 2015… yes, we always go shopping for Christmas all year round… yes, we know we are weird, no we don’t care.   And for good measure: here is picture:

 

 

Reluctantly, I chose to get on the scale yesterday morning… To have the numbers 149 appear…. My heart stopped.  I lost my 100 pound weight loss… I stood there in my kitchen looking at the fridge… Looking at the chocolates on the counter…. And looking at my leftover MediFast stash… I knew we didn’t have any food in the fridge…. I knew that if I indulged in the food pictured above it would very quickly rocket me back to the ‘overweight’ category.

I chose to get back on MediFast, to lose those holiday pounds… Today, the scale reveled 147…. Which is good, only a few more pounds to go… of course this was met with Dean complaining that I have become too obsessed with my weight, and that’s it has gotten ridiculous. His comments somewhat hurt my feelings, because I just want to be healthy… When my weight fluctuates upwards, I can feel the difference in my body… its harder to get down and play with my fur kids, its harder to breathe, etc.

Yeah, I know that most of the weight is probably just water weight from all the carbs, and its melting off easily, but for my own mental health, I greatly enjoyed seeing the numbers decline by two pounds this morning!

 

Perfection!

Hi people! I do still exist!

Guess what? National day of stuff yourself until you make yourself ill (aka Thanksgiving) is now in the rear view mirror.....I made Thanksgiving dinner at the Mother in laws house, and therefore, there was a nice, healthy modern twist to turkey day... for the most part. The mother in law was in charge of buying ingredients and we all know that she can't follow directions so she purchased some incredibly wrong ingredients, but we survived. We then had ANOTHER Thanksgiving dinner at my dads house... I noticed my plate after everything was served.... I had taken nothing more then a sampling of each item... and I thought "how pathetic am I?! This is ridiculous! But I ate my plate and enjoyed my food, without packing on the pounds....

And then, finals week hit....I discovered that I am a "stress eater" when I am under stress, I want to pig our on the most unhealthy things imaginable......

One of my finals was going out to eat at a very fancy Italian restaurant... at the beginning of the meal my teacher pulled me aside and asked if I could have what was being offered, he made it a point to tell me that he would order me something not on the "UNLV Party" Menu, so that I could enjoy my time out with my new found friends, and not sabotage my "diet".... I ate what was offered with no qualms.  We had pasta for an appetizer, a choice of either chicken or salmon for an entree, and tiramasu and a connoli for desert. Very small portions, but very tasty.... oh, and the most delectable bread imaginable!

Well, in case if you are wondering about the very generous congratulatory gift card if it has been spent yet: It has not. I wanted to utilize it to get an outfit after several months of maintaining, as a sort of incentive to stick with healthy habits! I'll post photos whenever I get to go shopping.... School has stolen more time then I thought it would, I quickly found out that taking 18 units in one semester was bonkers!

Today, the scale revealed the numbers 143.... I have been perfectly maintaining for 3 months now!

Maintaining

Hi people! I'm still in blogosphere on this site... Life just got insanely busy, and I have been updating another blog more often.

I finished crossing the finish line of shrinking a long time ago.

It is still really, really cold here, and I can't do anything to get warm! It's kind of ridiculous! I recently learned in my food and beverage class that some people in certain cultures eat spicy food to keep warm... maybe I should try that? Not likely since I hate spicy food.

I am now able to eat anything that I please... But I have noticed that when I do eat not the healthiest of items, I feel bloated, and very, very fat. Yes, I am aware that there is probably some mental health disorder that I meet the criteria for because of this.

We are now in the midst of the holiday season, and I recently read a report that the average American gains 15 pounds throughout the holidays! That is just ridiculous, but I am determined to keep the holiday pounds at bay!  It might prove to be a huge challenge, but was not losing more than 100 a challenge in and of itself?

All year I have been looking forward to shocking my family at upcoming holiday get-togethers because most of my family members have no idea I shrank... and I am greatly disappointed to announce that this will not occur. :(

Even though I have not been updating this thing consistently like I have previously done, I am been keeping a very, very firm eye on Mr. Scale.  Meaning that I have weighed myself, basically every single day. I figure that if I let go of watching the scale, that is when the pounds will ambush me again and come back in full force!

I have been consistently right around 143... which means I have maintained for two consecutive months!

Tricks....or....Treats.....

So...I woke up today and discovered its Wednesday... A little late, but time to update ya'll.  (This post was obviously started last week)... Its now Tuesday, but who really cares.... besides Dean.... He's standing here telling me I am confused about the days of the week!

I have decided that...

Its okay to continue to refuse those fattening foods at my monthly meetings (pizza and soda) as I arrived to the meeting last night, I saw the pizza come in... I thought: I can actually have some.... then I thought... no I can't. I know better then that now! Every time I am offered them by the bosses, and I just pass the items down the row, and I get looks and giggles from the other health coaches at my meeting that reads of "Your not going to give up, are you... you are going to stay strong.... you win..." And dang right: I WIN!

It okay to go to ward parties, and eat the pulled pork sandwiches without the bun.

Its okay to refrain from candy.

Its okay to still drink lots, and lots of water.

Its okay to forgo the elevator and take the stairs---fabulous in fact! Stairs are somehow faster then the elevators.

Last week, I had an episode of severe mania.....I purged my house of everything we do not use or need.... I took 2 gigantic trash bags of my fat girl clothes to Desert Industries.. You know how people have those favorite articles of clothing for when they "fit into them again" well.... I decided that I never want to be able to fit into them again, and donated everything that now longer fits (besides sentimental articles like my All-Star Soccer Jacket and such.) That way I don't have any reason to get fat again... But I have a 100 reasons to maintain my weight loss.  :)

The yearly ode to fat and sugar and random costumes holiday has now passed.  When I went grocery shopping last week, I saw the Halloween candy aisle. I stood there, debating whether or not to buy candy for the trick or treaters. Then, I remembered that the last two years we did not get any kids. So I decided not to buy any candy.  Why invite temptation into my house?

Last Tuesday, one of the girls in my psych class, who was in previous classes with me, informed me she has been going to the gym at 4am... and that she has been utilizing my Before and After as her inspiration... she wants to be where I am (a 100 pound weight loss) in a year.

Last night, one of my group members in my Food and Beverage class asked if I had handed out candy to the little munchkins. I told him no. In disgust he asked me "What kind of Mormon are you?!" Without hesitation I responded by saying: "The kind that does not contribute to the obesity epidemic of children in America." He stood there stunned, and didn't know how to respond.

Okay, so here is the update about me: I have been weighing in at 143, consistently! Yeah!
On transition, I am now allowed to eat fruits again... So I have been eating pears and kiwis! I looked up the nutritional values of them, and found that they are relatively low in calories. 

So, I have had a problem... Vegas all of a sudden got super cold (and I hate cold weather).... I have wanted to drink hot chocolate to warm up, my mom Bonnie probably started that ritual.... But I have not wanted to start drinking calories and sugar. So I asked on the facebook support group for MediFast if anyone had any recipes for "approved" hot chocolate... One person issued a recipe for hot chocolate that contained no sugar, and only 10 calories. I went to the store and obtained the nessesary ingredients.... and tried it.... yuck! It was like drinking a dry brownie mix....  Our home does not have a  heater, so I wanted to eat warm food to warm up.... but I knew that that was not a healthy alternative.... Instead.... Dean got me a fabulous new space heater! Ha! Calorie-free warmth!  YEAH!!!!

Also, it is important to note that the other day, I received a very generous gift card and special card in the mail from one of my biggest supporters (Dawna) so that I could utilize the gift card to get me new clothes that fit.... I am so very, very, very grateful for it! I definitely will get new clothes with it... when I have actually have spare time to go shopping! In the card she stated that she wished my mom was here to see my weight loss, and that Mom would be proud of me... The truth is, I am sure she has watched me from the beginning and has been very proud of me! I lost the weight, partly in remembrance of Mom.   Thank you so very, very much Dawna!!!

Here's to another week of maintaining  in the 140-145 range! (As I finished typing this, Dean asked me what kind of candy I wanted.... apparently he went trick or treating at work...and thinks I should eat candy.... turkey..lol)

103 problems of weight loss

Well, what do you know, I have disappeared from cyber land the last few weeks. Sorry folks.  But taking this 18 units of credit has been kicking my keister, and we have been incredibly busy traveling into various states to see family. (Next semester, my plan is to take 22 units..)

Transition, is rocky. I know now that transition will probably be the hardest component of the program. My brain has tried to tell myself that since I am done losing the weight, that I can eat the candy bar (snack size) or the ice cream, cause they won't make me get fat overnight. The truth is, this information is false. Living by that philosophy, is exactly how people manage to get fat again. The one candy bar will multiple, and then you ended up eating a kazillion calories for one day.

I have also had a terrible time with the temptress of fast foods, or to go foods. Especially when I am an idiot and leave my lunch pail in the car.  I usually just get a salad, and decided that that's too expensive. Its time that I slowly start weaning myself off of the meal replacements. So I think I have devised a plan to wean myself off of the meal replacements, but still have healthy meals six times per day. On Sunday I am going to cut up fresh vegetables, and portion them out for the week and place them in containers so all I have to do is grab them from the fridge, throw them in my lunch pail and eat. I  also set aside fresh fruit (not packaged ones due to the high content of sugar that's added to the syrups).  I hope that this method wont cause me to gain weight back. Dean doesn't want me to do it though, because he thinks that is still technically MediFast.

So, I went to the doctor yesterday, and he could barely recognize me! I showed him my photo, and he said that I am at  a good consistent weight. He also said that I did not previously have cat scratch disease, as I was previously diagnosed. Instead he said that I had "Tiana was fat disease" but isn't anymore, so there will pockets of fat and skin that will just hang out forever, there not harmful, just there. He also gave me some warnings that since I am thin now, it will hurt to sit on hard surfaces, do certain activities, etc.... I told him that I already noticed these adverse effects.  I have often been told that I should wright a book, and one day I might. And in that book there will be a chapter entitled 103 problems of weight loss.

Oh, as for the exercising portion:  I had been in desperate need of a new swimsuit. After losing so much weight, the old one was not plausible to utilize. While we were in Utah this weekend, we stopped at a store called Scheels. As we were riding the Farris wheel located inside, I noticed that they had a section of swimsuits.  We headed over, and I tried on several. I was disappointed when I looked at the price tag.... 70 bucks! But then, after logically thinking about it for quite some time, I thought "Pay the 70 now and be healthy, or not pay the 70 bucks now, and get fat again, and then have to go back on Medifast again, which is way more expensive then 70 bucks." So, I did in fact purchase the new swimsuit!  I went swimming yesterday, that is always nice!

So, I know I haven't publicly posted my weight in several weeks, but I have been keeping a keen eye on the scale, I am consistently around 145, (it ranges from about 143-145), depending on the day, time of day, etc. So I am still, right where I need to be!

Mid-Week Party!

Yeah, I know its Friday... so what... who cares! This 18 credit unit gig... makes keeping up with this blog a bit on the tricky side when the going get's tough. But this week of midterms is now in the past, and I have four days until the next one, so I have an hour or so to update this, hopefully will less errors then the last one.... sorry folks.

This week, I went back on the weight loss phase of the program full fledged. It was nice to feel well again.

On Tuesday, I thought I had submitted a mini order--- until I checked the status of our finances and discovered that apparently a whole order went through... that sucks flying purple garbage monkeys, but at the same time two things have came out of it. I will have enough food to last the semester, and we actually had the finances to cover the error. 

Also on Tuesday, the bosses asked for photos and biographies for the companies website, I should them the one I wanted to utilize.... but they want my before and after one... to demonstrate to our clientele what healthy can become... and look like....Weird... I still need to write my biography, and I don't know what to put in it!

Wednesday, I did some research about some of the Greek foods that we consumed at the Greek Fest, because now I have to go and actually make the items... and holy crap! Now I know why I gained a lot of weight last weekend... tons of salt...and sugar...  and wine in the items. Oops.

This weekend (only on Saturday) is going to prove to be difficult. We are going to Fresno.... now the amusing reason that we are going home to Fresno is to get my wedding rings resized (a couple of sizes down) since they are annoyingly too big now. People in my classes have also commented how they have noticed that my rings are too big. I am highly concerned about losing them, and Roger's in Fresno has a jeweler that shrinks or expands rings on the premises, this translates to.... I don't have to the mail them, which I am not comfortable doing. 

Since we are going to be in town (for Saturday only) we are going to go to the fair... where delicious fattening treats await with temptation... I'll try to be good.

I have been keeping an eye on the scale,  and the scale revealed the numbers 140.... this equates to 105 total pounds wait loss. I want to have a "different" final photo taken.... with a specific background of flames, symbolizing  that I walked out of the hell and anguish that obesity is. I found a place here in Vegas that will do it for 100 bucks... I wonder if I could figure out how to Photoshop it myself.

I know its a couple of days late again this week... My apologies, its midterm week, and studying like a mad-man has taken priority. Last week, was rough. The Greek Food Fest was in town, and I went and snacked, and ate.... And got fat again. True story!

Greek food is my most favorite cuisine, the festival benefits a church, and I had to go for a class assignment.  I split the food with others, but none the less, it caused the scale to go back up immediately... I hit the 150 range (*insert gasp here*) at night.... I had a plan though, to go to the Greek Fest in the afternoon, only after attending Zumba (for the first time, ever) in the morning. I thought it all would balance itself out... until I hit that assorted desert station... and I bought a packages..... hmm... so very delectable, one-in-a-very-blue moon treats.. They are highly addictive, in case you were wondering. I had one snack out of that container, and put the rest in the freezer, with the plan to eat one a month... nope that didn't happen... I found myself wanting more and more and of those buggers. Then, in a moment's time, I decided to throw the rest away. I learned a lot that very minute.... I am still in control of my weight. I am still in charge of my body and what I feed it. Maintaining my fabulous new healthy weight, will be a lifelong battle, but its doable. This experience also let me to have an unbelievable amount of love and empathy towards other people who have experienced weight loss, and then gained weight promptly back. I now understand their struggles in a way that not many people can.

Yesterday, at the institute I decided to get some hot chocolate, as I was freezing and couldn't manage to get warm. I read the label, and leardned that it only had 30 calories, and decided why not. I'll have some. As I was walking  back to my seat, someone called me "Big T" my heart skipped a few beats, because only ONE Kellogg cousin has ever called me that, and It made me feel like people noticed I was ballooning up again.... This comment served as a reminder of what I don't want to be...... ever-ever-ever-again. 
 

Last night I had my monthly meeting at work... I arrived early,  but there was still a sufficient amount of people there. I walked in, the room stopped, people stared at me and offered the complement "DANG YOU LOOK!!! At which point the bosses bragged about my weight loss, and my final reveal photo was passed around.... everyone is still in awe about my journey, it's nice.  The bosses have continued to support me throughout my journey, and they are so proud of me, just like a family would be. The comments and support from them erased the negativity the I encountered earlier in the day.

 

One of my work-mate people asked if I was still doing the program, I said sort of, as I  took out a meal replacement from my backpack, stunned they asked if I am done losing weight, then why am I eating the foods. My first response was" cause I am hungry, and this is cheap good for you food! We giggled, then I explained to her about weaning myself off of the program.

Of  course it was a disappointing  time to gain the weight back, but at the same time, rewarding having the realization that I am in control, and having empathy towards others.

The scale today revealed the numbers 145.... so much better then the 150 number I saw Friday night!

Questions and Answers

I had started a new post but now it is gone, I don't know where it went... I have been the recipient of a lot of questions over the past week. I will address some of them. Its past Monday, and some blog stalkers issued comments that they missed my blog this week... It's 50 hours late, but here you people go anyway....

Question and Answer Time

Q: What are you going to do with your blog now that your done? 

A: Keep it! I need the weekly accountability of where I am at in my journey, and it's truly phenomenal to be able to look back at my journey to see where I started. And to see how far I have come. I'm so glad that I decided to document my journey utilizing this blog. Yes, I know many of you make fun of the URL, and I really don't care. Its cute!
 

Q: Why did you decide to do mediFast? 

A: I thought I had addressed this many time before, but I guess not. I wanted to lose weight using something  that was a scientifically proven, safe, effective and that my doctor endorsed. I wanted to lose the weight for me, and my health. Not for anyone else. 

Q: How is it that were able to succeed? 

A: Determination determined success. Just like the mini title of this blog states. I wanted to. I knew that I would have to forgo those fattening  foods, but it was worth it in the end, or rather the beginning. I had to decide day one to walk away from the ill advised foods, once and for all. 

Q: What has been the best part.... Buying new clothes I bet? 

A:  I can't pin point the best part.... I can't decide! I have gotten tons of comments praising me. People have stated that they don't recognize me anymore, which is always fun.  I have gotten healthier. I have had to purchase new clothes... Albeit, minimal clothes. I am holding out hope that Mitchell will get my contact card that I sent him last week, and call me, and that he and I will go shopping in L.A. He has no idea I lost the weight... But he is a friend that recommended that I lose weight about a year and a half ago. I am dying for the day that I reunite with him and see the look on his face.... I hope that day comes soon.  

As for the buying the clothes thing: I HATE buying clothes... And it's impossible to find Mormon approved clothes in Vegas.... But I did manage to go to Utah and get a few modest shirts this past weekend.

But really, the best part has been being the recipient of hugs, from people who were actually able to fully embrace me. Their arms have been able to go all the way around me, much different then in the past.

Q:  When you lose that much weight where does your skin go? 

A: I have no idea.  I do believe that I do have extra skin that's hanging around... And the only thing that will fix this is plastic surgery. Since plastic surgery is an elective procedure my insurance company's won't pay for it. I also had a friend recently go through this procedure.... It looks VERY painful and I don't know that I want to endure that.... A little extra skin never killed anyone, right? Extra Fat has though... I will take my flab-oulous skin over extra weight from fat, any day!

Q: Are you going to be able to get pregnant now that you have lost the weight?
A: Probably not.  Head over to my fertility blog to find out why. I don't have the time or the energy to talk about such a depressing matter on this blog, which is dedicated to awesomeness! I really can't take any more of this specific question, so if you all could, can you please resume to living your own lives, and leave us alone regarding our diseases? That would be incredibly nice.

Q: I bet your husband absolutely loves your new body now?
A: No. He couldn't care less. And encourages bad eating habits.

Q: Did you cheat on the diet?
A: Only when the finances did not allow for a food order, but other than that no.

Q: Does the diet program really work?
A: Shouldn't this answer be common sense, after watching me? YES!

Q: Should I try the diet?
A: If you want that is totally up to you. If you have the determination to succeed, then by all means jump on board.

Q: Did your health coach check in with you every week?
A: No. Once I became a health coach she vanished, and only contacts me to push me to grow my business.

Q: Can I use your final reveal to promote my business?
A: I don't know. I want people to be able to hear about the program, but I could really use the extra income of people signing up under me. I am also thinking about following my dads advice and submitting my photo for a contest (whenever that comes out)... and I don't want to do anything that will prohibit my chances of winning, if I do decide to submit my story. (any input about this, blog stalkers?)

Q: Are you glad that you did it?
A: Absolutely. Although it is pricey, it's a lot cheaper than dying at 30.

Q: I bet you feel better now!
A: Probably. I am half the size that I was... but in order to survive my current situation, I have shut off all emotions, and don't really know that I feel anything.

Q: Are you a spokesperson for MediFast now, or what?
A: No.

Last week was my first week of Transition... That was rough!! I could eat an extra serving of vegetables, so I tried to have Brussels sprouts for breakfast on Monday Morning, which threw off my whole eating time routine, and made me feel quite sick by the day's end. Then, we ended up going to BURGR Friday night. I tried to eat healthy. I didn't eat the bun of my sandwich. My taste buds have definitely changed, I didn't even like BURGR....

 Then we went to Utah, and more shenanigans took place with going out to eat... I ended up gaining quite a few pounds back, four to be exact....But when I weighed myself this morning, all those pounds melted away again. This experience just goes to prove how much of a teeter-totter game is in transition and maintenance, I really have to be careful, and still eat healthy or I will blow up again.

Oh, and update regarding my food and beverage class: this past week we actually cooked in the kitchen, and then ate. I did partake of the food.  I have been thinking about it over the last couple of days, and I am okay with eating the offerings. It's only once a week, and we get a small sampling of the foods. I have decided to eat the foods because I paid a lot for this class, and I might as well enjoy it! We get to make and eat dishes from all around the world. It's kind of exciting, and fun, and well... I like dinners that are free!  Ironically, I ended up assisting in making the salad... somehow I always end up making the healthy dish! Oh... the irony.

The scale ended up being 143 today, which is in the range it needs to be for transition... I came back from Utah at 147 Sunday.

No words

I have not lost 100 pounds.....

My Journey..... hasn't just began.... nor has it just ended. I am in the middle of an incredible transformational journey.  I lost the weight that I wanted to... although the popular thing right now for my age and height is to be another 20 pounds lighter then I currently am, I can not healthily achieve that status. Under the supervision and direction of my doctor, I am not allowed to go any lower than 140, which is okay, because I can see and feel my bones!  During Transition there is a standard deviation of about 5 pounds to expect. This means that the scale can either go up or down 5 pounds, and that's okay.

Here is a recap of my journey:
I was unhappy with myself and my weight. I was introduced to a weight loss program by a good friend here.

I decided to take the plunge, order my first order of food, and start this blog... Most of the first comments included Best of Luck Wishes, I got the vibe that people didn't think I could do this. I started the program, with the idea of "I'll try it for one month and see if it works" attitude. I tried it, shrank quickly and was hooked!

I stayed on it, only taking time off of it when our piggy bank turned anorexic... total months of time on MediFast: 8.5 months!

I started in a size 24 Wide Pant..... The picture above is a size 6!

I started out in the severely obese category on the BMI charge (I had a BMI of 41+).... I now have a BMI of 22.9.... perfectly healthy!

Today, I begin transition. I can now have all vegetables. My first stop is Brussels sprouts.  They are comfortably cooking as a type this.  Now I have the emotional roller coaster of knowing that things that have been banned from my diet so long, are now perfectly okay to eat! It's weird. Very weird. As much as I want to stay on the security  MediFast foods for the rest of my life, I need to spread my wings and learn how to fly on my own again.

I had been keeping a close eye on that pesky scale last week, and knew that I hit the 100 pound mark on Tuesday, but I blog on Mondays, so you people had to wait. During the weekend I wanted nothing more to go out to eat at Gordan Ramsay's Burgr here in Vegas in celebration. It took every ounce of energy I had not to succumb to this temptation. Instead we went to the thrift shop and I got a new skirt, and new professional shirt.   Transition is going to be hard, but well worth it.

On Thursday on the bus ride to work, I noticed a woman in a wheelchair. She recently had one of her legs amputated due to the effects of diabetes and gangrene. The gangrene had also begin spreading upwards on her leg. Just like what happened to Mom. Mom had both legs amputated due to gangrene.  It was a sobering reminder of what I have done this all for, in memorial of my Mom. I took the steps necessary to avoid getting diabetes, and to avoid ending up dying of a slow and painful death due to diabetes.  To my Mom, I hope I have never made you more proud. I did what a lot people think is impossible: lose tons of weight, without surgical interventions.

My final food order will arrive today... you might be wondering why on earth I ordered another food order now that I am done. There are two reasons, one is for transition. I am SLOWLY adding in all fruits, vegetables, and grains... and because they are a much cheaper, healthier option then candy bars from vending machine's at school.  I often need a quick snack to keep me full and focused throughout the school day, and medifast is formulated to perform this job for me.

People have asked  me what I am going to do with this blog now that I am done... I will probably keep blogging weekly, as a way to ensure that I am maintaining my weight and not blowing up again.. I need the accountability.

This journey would not have reached the "middle stage" without the love, support, and cheers from my biggest supporters, cheerleaders, and blog stalkers. Aunt Carolee, Dawna, and Dyanna, there are not enough words in any language in the world that can describe how appreciative I am of your constant love and support. When the going got tough, I looked back on your comments about the blog, and the love and devotion you have to rooting me until the finish line, has propelled me forward in ways you can't imagine. I truly appreciate all of you.

The scale revealed the numbers 142.... I have joined the centennial club, and then some!

When Weight Loss Becomes Funny

So, I'm back into the normal rituals of being at school from 7am-7pm, and seeing people I haven't scene in a while. I'm also taking two classes that I never would of dreamed of taking, but I don't make the rules of what I have to take or not, so here I am....

I have a food and beverage class, international cuisines. Basically, we read about, cook, and eat foods that are from around the world.  The first day during class the teacher had everyone go around the room and introduce themselves, in our introduction, we had to tell something interesting about ourselves... I said that I have almost lost almost 100 pounds... afterwards I told the teacher that I am on MediFast... He was familiar with it as his son utilized the program as well.... the teacher said that he respected me for getting healthy and that I don't have to eat anything I don't want to.

The next class period he walked in the room, and saw me eating a meal replacement bar... and gave me this smirk that conveyed the message: "I know what that it,  I see what your up to, problem child."  Well, then it came time to pick what cuisine we wanted to present and cook.... I had my heart set on Greek food. So I went over there to gather with my new  group.... After the groups were formed, we discovered that apparently Greek food, was the healthiest of options.... This launched me into an uncontrollable fit of the giggles... I unconsciously chose the healthy option! Also looking around the room, we discovered that, we were the group that was made up of the slimmest people in the class... tell me that's not funny!

Then, after class, he stopped me and made it a point to reiterate that next week he is going to be making us homemade pasta, with even a bigger smirk on his face... I said  I know... and that we will see... he asked if I had hit my goal weight yet, I told him not quite, but I hit the 99 pound mark.... he let me know he is proud of me... and that instead of a whole dish of pasta, he will only serve me one little strand of pasta, and he promises me that it won't kill me, or make me gain 100 pounds. (He's a smart alec if you couldn't gather)

Today, more amusement ensued. One of the institute secretaries asked if I had lost weight, I said yes. she guessed 30 pounds are gone..... really?!?! Just Thirty?!?! No way. Not for this girl!

Then it came time for my lean and green meal. I had planned on eating it at home, but I am stuck at school for longer, so I got a salad. They offer you all of the fixings such as crotons, wontons, pasta, etc. I declined all dry options, as usual. The problem with the place that serves salads on campus is that they ALWAYS serve a roll with the salad... until today. The dude behind the counter said "I'm assuming you don't want a roll since you declined all the carby stuff." Yes, dude, you are right. I only want my chicken and vegetables.  It made me feel really good that it wasn't stuffed in my food, that the guy noticed what I had, or didn't have.

P.S. My final reveal photo has gone from being months away to weeks away, to just days, if not hours away..... I almost calculated the hours until I release it, but feel like a zombie and it doesn't matter much anyways.

And Now We Return to your normal programming...

This blog apparently was started several weeks ago.... and I never his the publish button.... oops.

I had planned to take off one week from  MediFast, because I was going to run out of food, and the food takes a week to reach my house.  It was shipped this morning, so I will return back my to the diet tomorrow. I will have just enough food until the new stuff arrives! I am very excited for to get back I the diet, although I only have putting sand shakes left.  The UPS man can't get her soon enough!

The weekend was filled with not-the-best-foods to eat, but I really couldn't care less. Dean and I were in a car crash Saturday morning, which left us too sore to cook, in all honesty. So we ate out.  Saturday we ate at Olive Garden, and I got something off their fit and fair menu. Sunday we ate at the buffet again (deans request).  Yes, I know it was Sunday,  but you pick and choose your battles in a marriage, and I, quite frankly did not have the energy to fight a war. 

I had decided not to weigh in today, but Dean convinced me other wise. Total 150. Yes, I did gain a few pounds, but there's no telling if it's from fat, or being swollen from the crash. I'm just glad that we are all alive, and well. Pounds can always go away again.  However, gaining a few pounds back speaks volume of now it is important to slowly do transistion and then maintainece, I think it  will be important to slowly add in all food groups, instead of all at once. 

 

I'm sure I'll lose some pounds this week, once I revisit my friend called MediFast.  And when my body resumes it's normal shape!  No more swelling that is! (I have no idea when I typed all of this up... sorry)

Update  (began 9/7/14) : I received my new food, and jumped back on the bandwagon, full throttle, almost... I tried to leave behind the lackadaisical mindset of I just don't care anymore.  It is just incredibly awesome to be able to throw my lunches together in seconds, and know that I could chow down on a meal replacement in my mad dashes to classes. It takes a lot of anxiety and worry out of "I am hungry, I wonder what I can get to eat."

Then the weekend hit... We went to an arts and crafts festival again... I was a very naughty girl, and ate samples and bought foods... But before I purchased the foods, I asked if they could be frozen. They could. I bought bread (I'll be able to have bread again soon), and toffee... both are comfortably waiting for me in the freezer. As well as the M&M's my teacher gave me last semester.... which I don't even really want....

I went to the vet to pick up two of our fur kids from the vet, and one of the techs asked why I was looking skinny, she asked if I was on some sort of diet or something... I was.  She asked if I was overweight, I said no... I was severely obese, she couldn't believe me... I showed her a photo... she was astonished! She immediately assumed that my doctors made me shrink, I told her no. That only I wanted to. She was impressed.  She also asked if I have become the poster girl/spokesperson for the weight loss program, which is a very common question these days. It's funny. My dad is trying to convince me to submit my photos and story, we shall see.

Well, the calendar on the wall tells me its Monday.... the scale displayed the numbers of 146..... there is nothing more to say today, other then stay-tuned.
 

Reveal: Cancelled

Greetings Monday Morning Blogstalkers!

I wanted so much for this blog to be nothing more then my final reveal photo announcing I have lost 100 pounds. I had too high hopes of losing four pounds last week.  I gave considerate thought to putting it up, but decided that I could not be a woman of integrity, if it was not completely true.  Because the scale did not clock me in at the centennial club today, I am going to cancel my free photo shoot on Wednesday.

I have given considerate thought to jumping ship this week, I will run out of food within the week, and I do need to order more, and it takes one week for the food to arrive.  We are hoping that I get my student loan money in this week,  and then I will purchase my final order of food with some of that money. My final order! That alone calls for a celebration! I'm excited to not have to spend so  much money on food. And I'm excited to head for transition. I think my first vegetable that I am going to indulge myself on when I hit transition mode, is brussel sprouts! During the weight loss portion of the program, those are forbidden. But during transition, I can eat all vegetables again!

I would say that I have no doubt I will hit the 100 pounds lost one week from today, but if I can pull off an elaborate plan of buying a car, probably in a different state, we will be going out of town for the weekend. And I can guarantee that I will not stay on plan throughout the weekend. For one, I will be out of food. Secondly, one of the reason's we are going home is to attend the Fresno Greek Food Fest, and I'm going to eat some Greek food! Definitely in moderation of course! I've learned that even after a few bites of food, I often feel very, very full. 

The scale reveleaed the numbers 147. That's two pounds away from crossing the finish line and joining the centennial club ! It's possible that I will hit 145 by the time we leave for California, I just got a keep an eye on the pesky scale. If that happens, there will be a reveal, even if it is not on Monday!

T Got Ran Over by the Disappointment Truck

For a while I have been on the hunt for an outfit for my final reveal. I decided on an outfit, I just needed to do things like..... buy my right pant size! The most current size pant that I purchased was 12, and I quickly shrunk out of those.  Yes of course, we got pants at the free clothing exchange but none of the ones I got fit to my liking. Maybe I'm just partial to a particular brand, style, fit, etc. And that's okay with me!

Last week I decided to stop in at Rhaposidielle, to find nothing more then disappointment.  Apparently this brand only caters to size 0 folks.  I thought "after all I have done, nearing a 100 pound loss, I'm still  not good enough. Society tells me I'm still too fat" Well I quickly banished these thoughts, and decided that I would just stick to Target.

I decided to crack open the textbook that was supposed to accompany my journey all along. Inside there is a self-check quiz. You read the questions, rate yourself, measure yourself, tally up your score and find where you fit. After I took this little quiz I learned that, the creator of the program still considers me unhealthy! This is because my waste is still 1 inch to big! And because of my sleeping habits, I have insomnia. I have always had insomnia, sometimes I sleep great, sometimes I can't get more than an hour or so of sleep. Yes, I have tried everything to cure myself of it, but because I don't get 7 hours of sleep every single night, Dr. A still considers me to be unhealthy. :(

Dean has been adamant that I don't need new pants, somewhat citing the high cost of such a purchase. Well, sly me I began looking for bargains online, just keeping an eye out for some good sales. I couldn't really find anything, until this week. I had planned on running errands Wednesday, so I figured I could do some shopping while I was out.  I stopped at Target where I was greeted with a sign that read; "All Jeans, 40% off!" Yeah! Major score.  I need new jeans, and need to save a buck! So, I marched on over to the jean rack, thinking "I'm sure all the good ones are gone, since everyone is doing back to school shopping, and this is a great save!" Well, I found my new size, in my favorite cut and brand, along with a t-shirt I need for my final reveal, and marched myself into the fitting rooms to determine my final size.  Yes, I know that I have 3 more pounds to melt before I'm completely done, but I am positive those 3 pounds aren't going to shift my pant size, and hello, major sale this week!

As I looked at myself in those full length mirrors I stood there in shock and awe. I used to be disgusted at the way I looked when looking into those things. (We only have a tiny mirror in our house  that's maybe 8x7 width) But today, I was darn proud! I thought: "I have done it. I am buying my final pair of pants of my weight loss journey."  My. Final. Pair. Of. Pants. That is a milestone!!!

Update regarding the food order: Unfortunately, I will be unable to purchase a new food order this week, like I wanted to, and needed to. Although I will most likely cross the finish line by Monday, I will enter the transition phase, where I will wean myself off of Medifast Meal Replacements, and begin to introduce normal grocery foods to my diet again. Transition will take at least 1 month.  I can't purchase this because Dean got a ticket back in February, I didn't find out about it until debt collectors called wanting the payment, and also being notified he had a warrant out because he couldn't tell me about the ticket 6 months ago. So, needless to say, I had to take my food order budget, and bail him out of the dog house. We should be getting some money in next week, so I will just have to wait a bit longer to purchase my food. That's okay, I suppose it could be much worse, he could be in the slammer, I suppose.

If things go as planned, I will be getting a free photo shoot done a week from today.  Another person doing the weightloss program here in the Las Vegas is a photographer and is providing free sessions to anyone who uses the program and reaches their goal! I made my appointment for a week from today, we'll see how that goes. Who's excited?

Closing In!

Good Monday Morning blog stalkers!

Last Week, was very rough. I decided to go off plan, not because of finances or laziness or anything of that sort, but because I had one demon of the stomach flu for five days! I knew it would be a waste of money to eat my meal replacements when my body couldn't handle any food. I survived off can soups, and a couple of slices of toast,  once I could keep the toast inside me I knew I could go back on plan.

Last week didn't have much to talk about (for obvious reasons) until Sunday. I went to church, including relief society.  Several ladies asked if I had lost weight, someone even said I was barely recognizable! I did admit to losing weight, and the ladies inquired about the program. I explained it briefly, and gave them my co-branded website. Throughout the afternoon, several of these ladies filled out the inquiry form on my website, so I guess I have some calls to make today to explain it further!

While the kickbacks on the commission of the food is appreciated, I have decided that being a health coach isn't about the money. I think its more important to assist others in becoming healthy. Health is really all that matters.

I predict that I will order my very last food order this week. I am quickly closing in on the 100 pound mark, where I will start transition!

I want to purchase a new outfit for my final reveal photo (hopefully to be taken either this Saturday or next) but Dean is adamant I don't. He doesn't understand that clothes that are too big, are uncomfortable, and embarrassing. He always states that we just got new clothes from the clothing exchange, but what he doesn't understand it that a lot of the shirts needs undershirts for modesty purposes.  I found some for cheap tees at Old Navy that can be used for this purpose, so maybe I'll treat myself to an outing to the mall later in the week and get these too make the free clothes work.

The flu lasted until Thursday, and I went back on plan on Friday, I  was worried that I would gain weight back since I was so sick last week. The scale clocked me in at a grand total of 148 this morning. That is three pounds away from crossing the finish line, and joining the centennial club. Just three pounds! We had planned on going to Disneyland for celebration, but I don't think we are going to that anymore. It's a complicated story, we don't have a car, or the funds, but I also think I would rather save the money we would use for that, for fertility treatments. Oh, and by the way, I did launch a gofundme fundraiser in hopes of raising some of the money for treatments, now that I am healthy enough to proceed!


In case you are mathematically challenged like myself, I have now lost a grand total of 97 pounds, three more to go!

Slaying the Giant

Well, hey look, its Monday... Time for a Journey in review wrap up (almost)

When I got married in 2007, my weight ballooned up. I am sure most of the weight is contributed to the crap that Dean and I would eat on a daily basis.  In Fresno, my primary care doctor even offered the suggestion that I get a dog, because that would force me to exercise on a daily basis. (you know, walking it and all) Unfortunately that was not an option for our living arrangements at the time.

Time marched on, and so did the numbers on the scale. They just kept skyrocketing.

We found ourselves in a new city. It seemed like it was a prime area for all sorts of fad weight loss solutions and advertisements. These include: diet pills, fat freezing procedures, surgeries, you name it. We have had our fair share of advertisements for these. Admittedly, I looked into most of these, including surgeries such as gastric bypass.  Then one day, I was educated on the fabulous program I found.  After months of watching a friend shrink, I decided to take the plunge and do the program as well.

This past week I learned that there are family members who have paraded progress photos around to the not- to-tech-savvy generation. For a brief moment, I felt angered. I wanted to surprise people with my new body in person. But then I decided to be happy about it, I learned that I have more supporters then I ever dreamed of.  I had planned to do a final reveal to family and friends in August, in Utah, and then another one in California.  But then I realized the event we were going to Utah for in the first place, is next week. I can't go since I don't have a car, or the funds to rent a car. So it's okay that my family is doing mini-reveals for me, before I'm done. 

Thursday I found myself in a very tight pinch. It was the first day that kitty Kat Kay was getting very ill, so I took him to the vet. What I thought was hoping to be a brief appointment, was an all day appointment. I didn't have the gas to go back and forth, nor did I want to, especially since I was in the truck, the vehicle that likes to shut off if you drive it too much in one day.  I had brought one medifast bar in preparation for the day, but quickly learned that was not going to be enough. I looked a round at the shopping mall I was in. There was a chipotle, KFC, IHOP, and Denny's.  I opted to go to Denny's, knowing they had chicken, steak, and vegetables.  When the waiter man brought my steak, he also brought the famous A1 sauce. I looked at it, and gave a moment thought to using some on my food. But then I thought, " I didn't control how much seasoning went into the food. I better not add anything extra". (I can use three condiments per day, this includes seasoning.) So I decided to exercise self control and not add the extra calories.  The food was fabulous without the extra calories. 

Saturday was the annual free clothing exchange. I was hoping to find some slacks for professional occasions. Every pair that I touched and thought " that feels like a good fabric, I wonder if they'll fit." Turned out to be the ones I donated!!! Size 20-24.  Therefore, I was unable to find slacks that fit my current physique.   Although I was unable to find slacks, I was able to find shorts, pants, and shirts. Here are a couple of photos:

Size 6 shorts. and a small shirt 

Size small Christmas pjs 

Size 10 dress

My current motivational song for my journey is Newsies Seize the Day, the Lyrics are as followed:

Now is the time to seize the day
Stare down the odds and seize the day
Minute by minute that's how you win it
We will find a way
But let us seize the day
Courage cannot erase our fear
Courage is when we face our fear
Tell those with power safe in their tower
We will not obey!

DAVEY & JACK
Behold the brave battalion that stands side by side
Too few in number and too proud to hide
Then say to the others who did not follow through
You're still our brothers, and we will fight for you

 

Now is the time to seize the day
Stare down the odds and seize the day

 

Once we've begun
If we stand as one
Someday becomes somehow
And a prayer becomes a vow

 

Now is the time to seize the day
Answer the call and don't delay

Wrongs will be righted
If we're united
Let us seize the day

Now let 'em hear it loud and clear

Like it or not we're drawing near

Proud and defiant
We'll slay the giant
Judgment day is here
Houston to Harlem, look what's begun
One for all and all for one!

 

I think the song speaks a lot of truth, it really has been a minute by minute journey, full of defiance, telling fast food giants, and candy makers that I don't need them anymore. And I have stared down the odds of people telling me I shouldn't do it, and such.

When I started out my journey, my goal was to land myself in the healthy category on the BMI chart (the one produced my cdc.gov).... The scale this morning revealed the numbers: 153.... Therefore this does in fact mean I have done it I have met my original goal even though I have a new goal of getting to 145 now. I am in the healthy category golly gee willackers I have slayed the Giant!!!  

 

Update: I was smacked in the face with the stomach flu shortly after weighing myself this morning. Two hours later, I decided to weigh myself again, 151.  I lost 2 pounds in 2 hours, just from being sick. However, I am no dummie and I'm sure that once I am well again, these 2 will come back. Also, due to me being so sick today, I am going off medifast until further notice. I am not going to waste all those meals and money, when nothing is staying inside me. I know I need to eat bland foods that are soft of my stomach, until I am well again.

 

But, this blog is serving the announcement that I HAVE REACHED THE HEALHTY CATEGORY!!!!!! (As a reminder, I started out in the severely obese category)

 

 

Mid- Week Check In!

It's been a while since I posted a mid week check in, and I have things to do and places to go, but the locations I need to go to are not opened yet,  so, blogging will occur right now.  :)

Monday (after the previous blog was published), was a day to remember. I found out that one of my dear friends of countless years, was called home to our Father after a more then courageous fight with breast cancer.  This news came to me seconds before I was stopped at the institute by one of the teachers. He asked if I was vanishing. Which did afford some giggles about it, and he proceeded to ask me: "so what are you doing, Medifast?" he knew, simply by my transformation thus far, that I am getting healthy with Medifast. His wife is also a health coach. But he let me in a secret. His wife had cancer, that never would of been found in time, if she hadn't lost the weight that she needed to, as reported by him. Medifast helped save her life. Early detection because of weight loss, allowed her the best chances of survival. 

The news about Millicent returning Home catapulted me into a stage of grief and mourning. She now marks the third friend my age (she was actually 2 years younger than I) that have lost their battles with the monster of a disease that cancer is.  And there are more, that are in the midst of their fights. I just keep thinking that it's not fair, your friends are not supposed to pass away until your like, 110 years old. Well anyway, a life is a constant roller coaster and you just have to march on to the beat of time. 

At the institute I was surrounded by good friends, who did not know about the moment of grief and mourning that I was in, but they checked in on me anyway.  I informed them that I had hit the 90 pound mark, and they rejoiced in my progress, along side of me.  I was able to see "E" (the guy who told me about the program a year ago) and was able to check in with him. Unfortunately he went back to his bad habits of eating crappy foods, and has gain some weight back.  It made me realize, more then ever, that I don't want to be the person who puts back on any weight. I have come too far to slam myself into reverse. I have. I don't want to go back to the fatso me!

Many people have asked "I bet you feel tons better!" and other such sentiments. The truth is, I suppose this is true. I don't remember feeling ill, but I feel......... more confident now.

When I got home from the institute, my grief and mourning continued to consume me.  It was time to eat, and I just wanted to eat some crappy food, like ice cream or cake to cope.  But then I realized two things. Our house now longer harbors these poisons. Secondly, what would the 2,000 calories of binge eating because of sadness really do for me? For one, it would throw me out of fat burn. For two, it would not solve my problem of missing my friend.  So many people are emotional eaters, they turn to their favorite junk foods when they have a hard day. But, after analyzing this over the last several months, I have decided that being an emotional eater, or binge eating, solves absolutely nothing.  I could almost say that it causes more problems. Similar to how drinking alcohol causes more problems, instead of solving the problems. I decided that day, that I am, and no longer will be an emotional eater. I don't need to be a food addict, I just don't.

Sorry this blog as been so somber. We will move on to kicks and giggles regarding my journey.

Last post I forgot to mention one thing that was funny. On Saturday we went to the church to help clean it. I can't count the number of times I was asked if we are new in the ward, or what our names were. This either does two things: One, it can prove how invisible we are in the ward (no, it's not a large ward by any means, there's maybe 50 of us on a regular basis), or it tells a tale of how we are unrecognizable now!

Last night was my famous monthly meeting at work.  I was asked what size I am in now,   a response I could lend no more than an "I don't know" to.   Because, I don't. My clothes are all too big, and I don't know what my current size is. Instead I offered the inquiring minds and "I don't know, but I have now lost a total of 90 pounds."

As I have mentioned before, these meetings are always accompanied by food. Usually pizza. This time the pizza was also accompanied by salad. . "S" made it a point to announce that this salad was bought just for me. As the meeting proceeded "S" asked THE ENTIRE COMPANY: "Has everyone gotten something to eat, accept for Tiana, cause she is on a diet, and has lost 90 pounds, and wants to lose 10 more pounds???" This question was accomanied with a smile bigger then the state of Texas. (Insert my face turning bright red from embarrassment here) The room erupted in applause and whistles. (I hate the noise of either one) ... But her announcement led to inquiring minds.

One person inquired about the program. She wanted to know if it worked. Others chimed in, "WELL OBVIOUSLY!" She wanted to know more,  I told her I would explain everything after the meeting. I met with her for a second afterwards and told her about it.  She asked to see photos, I pulled out the ipad, and showed her, my heaviest photo, my 16 week progress photo, and my most shocking photo.  Her reply was a constant "Holy S****!!!!"  Anyway, she is super interested in the program. So, she might be signing up under me, and that would equate having a coworker as a client, and more money in my pocket, plus health for her. I hope she joins the healthy-people-bandwagon!

As always "S" stops by each person's desk and offers the chosen sweet treat for the night. "M" leaned over, and said "Just say No." My response was:  "I always do."  However, "S" passed by me, and didn't offer it to me, in support of me, and knowing about my journey. These two actually worked together to pass on their unwanted food to me, when I was quickly running out of food. I have one packet from them that I have kept  on the top basket of my food racks. It's purpose being there, is to remind me of the support and cheerleaders I have had on my journey. No, they are not some psycho people who sneak into my house and make sure I only have plan approved food in my residence, but they support me, by just cheering me on. And donating food to me, and telling me it's okay to say no to food pushers. They let me know they are standing in the four corners of our world, watching in awe, that I am doing something, nothing short of remarkable.  I really, really appreciate the support that they have offered, and continued to offer.

At the end of the night, there was left overs. "S" was trying to pawn off the left overs on anyone she could. No one was biting at the offer. I turned and said " 'S" I'll take some home. The dear-in-the-headlights-look on her face was more than hilariously priceless. I can't even type this paragraph without cracking up.  "S" didn't know what to do, or how to respond.  I then just said " 'S" I'm totally just kidding!"

Saturday is the free clothing exchange day, but since I don't know what size I am, I am off to try on some clothes at Target to determine my new sizes I need to hunt down Saturday.

Thanks for reading this long post, and being my supportive cheerleaders, all of you. I'll check back in on Monday. 

Giggles

So, last week, was one for the books of hilarious.

Monday I went to the office for some business chatter.  One person offered me some sweet rolls. I said thanks, but no thanks.

Then "A" offered the same sweet rolls to me, as she was watching me make a strawberry shake and giggling at me, she too, is a health coach for the same program. She stepped outside of the room we were in, immediately stepped back in, and proceeded to offer me a loaf of bread instead... too which my response was "'A' seriously??? She and I laughed even harder... Her response: Sorry, out of habit, I offer food to everyone!

Later that Day, Dean noticed that it was my mom's birthday. He asked "don't you always make something on her birthday." I said yes, that I usually make Missippi Mud Cake, but I also informed him that I was not going to do that this year. He said: "why not? You make. I eat. You watch."  Jerk. 

Well, anyway the rest of the week went on with not much to laugh at. Except for uncomfortable things have gotten. We are now bus commuters. Which means we get to spend countless hours waiting for busses to come on hard benches, and cement sidewalks...I have noticed now that I'm too boney now, and I can't get comfortable! Even at home when I am sitting on my floor, I can't get comfortable! This is a serious problem! 

We an also can  laugh at an event that happened several weeks ago was that I had to go to the local police department for a background check, I had to fill out my information, you know things like hair and eye color, and body build. I left the body build portion blank. I didn't know what to put. They lady at the counter filled this portion in for me.  She wrote this: 

Yes. She wrote thin. My local police department considers my build to be thin now... That's a far cry from the severely obese category I used to be in! 

Okay, well, I guess we could laugh at how way too big all of my clothes are gotten. Every Sunday I always say that I don't have anything to wear, but this Sunday , those words rang so very true. Every single skirt I tried on, were way too big... Including a sized small skirt. This poses a problem! I have no money to go shopping, I had planned to stow away 10 bucks a week for a grand shopping trip, but we needed to use that money to bail kitty Kat Kay out of the pound instead. Yes. I forfitted stuff for me in order to get my own cat back, and I am perfectly okay with that!  

But, life is about finding solutions to problems.  Every year, our stake hosts a free clothing exchange. People donate their unwanted items, and people pick up whatever clothes they want. All for free, and with no limits. As much as I have wanted to go shopping for myself at a new clothing store, dean has always said that I can't. I can't spend money on myself, no matter how little or large the purchases are.  This clothing exchange, is going to be held this Saturday. So we are going to go shopping for free! 

On Sunday, more giggles ensued. I took my kiddos that I work with. I was able to run and keep up with them! I also played on a not-very-sturdy play structure with them. I went down the slides many times (there made for 2-5 year olds!)

Secrets: Exposed. I have only been doing this program haphazardly. There is a textbook (Habits of Health by Dr. Anderson) and workbook that, theoretically you should be reading and working through while you eat the food. I haven't given much thought to reading the book. Let's be honest, I haven't had the time between school and work. However, I am on vacation for the next three weeks, so I am giving thought to reading the book. We'll see how far I entertain that idea. I do have the book. It's currently sitting right next me.
 

Some of my blog talkers have requested updated photos of me... I'm wanting to wait to do this until I cross the finish line... The photo will be mor shocking that way, I think. I have about 10 more pounds to go (doesn't that seem like a lot?!?!). My reasoning for this is that if I post one now, and then another one in a couple of more weeks, the shock value simply won't be there!  I don't think people can really tell when a mere 10 pounds have been lost.

Today, they scale revealed the numbers.... 155. That means I am one pound away from sliding into the healthy category..... But on the flip side of that coin it means that I have now have lost a grand total of 90 pounds.

"Holy Cow"

Well, look at that.... Surprise its Monday...

I went back on Plan on Tuesday, Tuesday was a very rough day.... I ended up being at work for nearly 7 hours, with no opportunities to chow down on a meal replacement... Towards the end of the day,  I felt ill, like I needed something to eat, and immediately, similar to what I felt Friday night. I knew I had a 2 hour bus ride home, and began to think frantically of places I could go nearby for some healthy food. Thankfully a friend and coworker of mine offered me a ride home, so I got home much sooner then later, and was able to eat my lean and green upon arriving home. The following days were rough.... I wanted Olive Garden and Popcorn oh so very badly....I think this speaks to how salt can be so addictive. I was good though, and didn't succumb to temptation. Update regarding this popcorn temptation: On Saturday, Take Shape For Life announced new snacks. 2 flavors of popcorn, and 2 flavors of chips. I am excited to try those!

On Wednesday I was able to purchase a new order, and it should be here on Tuesday (Tomorrow), which is the exact day I will run out of current food. So that's good. However, I realized that most of the items I chose for this month, is mostly chocolate, and I am expecting most of it to arrive melted, unfortunately so.

It is unclear or not weather I will purchase one more food order. I am hoping to reach my first goal of 150 with this food order, however, I want to hit 145, when I hit 145 I will have join the centennial club.... 145 is comfortably in the healthy weight range, 154 is just barely in the healthy weight range, (if you utilize the BMI chart according to the center of disease control and prevention) so you can see my reasoning for pushing myself that much further. However, I will be basically out of work for the duration of at least 3 weeks because my client's are going to be on vacation, so it goes without saying, that we will be unable to afford it.

Many people have inquired what I am going to do to celebrate my success when I am done with the shrinking part of my journey, for a while, I was determined to go to Disneyland. But I don't think that's in the cards for me anymore, due to it's outrageous cost. But I have been thinking that I kind of want to celebrate with my friends and family. I know it will never, ever happen, but I think it would be cool to have a reception-type event where we all (the several of us who have dropped tons of weight together) reveal our new looks to our family and friends. I think that would be fun, but know it's an unrealistic expectation. I know that if my Momma were still alive, she would definitely throw this for us. But, since she returned home, I know that's not a realistic expectation.

Saturday night we attended a farewell party for our current institute director.

I was applauded for my hard work and determination. I always dismiss the hard work comments. That is because I picture work for weight loss as having to spend hours a day at the gym. With the weight loss program that I have done, it's no harder then just eating. I simply just eat what is prescribed. It is true that motivation and determination is what helps me refuse foods that are not healthy that are offered.  Saturday night while at the farewell party, there was a bountiful amount of unhealthy foods such as nachos, brownies, cookies, cakes, candy, etc.  While I gave eating these items a minimal amount of thought, I chose not to partake, instead I ate a meal replacement bar during the event.  Seeing the numbers on the scale move downwards means more to me then enjoying fattening foods with friends.  Someone also stated that many people have chosen to just die from complications of obesity, rather then cure themselves of it. They said a lot of people don't have the determination or motivation. I let him in on a secret. I watched my mom's life be stolen by diabetes, and I refuse to follow that example.  I would almost venture to say that I have shrunk, in memoriam of her. Today is her birthday.

The scale revealed the numbers of 156.... that's just 2 pounds away from escaping the overweight range on the BMI chart (if you use the cdc.gov BMI calculator)... So happy birthday, Mom. I'm almost healthy!!! 

Ship: Abandoned

It's Monday. Here is the 360 degrees of updates.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I did go on vacation this past weekend. The decision that I ultimately made regarding weather to stay on Medifast or not while on vacation, ultimately reached to jump ship for the weekend.  This actually all started on Thursday.

Thursday evening, on our walk with Lucky, we were stopped by our friendly neighbors.  They are probably the only two people who we can call friends here, and they just live a few doors down. We ended up hanging out with them and there two kids, for a couple of hours discussing concerns that are occurring in our community.  We were there so long, that the mom offered us a drink. Dean and I both said we would take water, and that we don't drink anything else.  Then the mom demanded that the dad bring us sobes. We again said we don't drink..... but then she cut us off and said it's not alcohol its juice! This amusingly reminded me of when my old friends from Fresno introduced them to me. They all went into the convenience store to get some sobe's on a group date that we were on, and I belligerently refused to receive one, because I thought they contained alcohol. (yes, I know they really don't) Well anyways, we both accepted our friend's generous offers of the Sobes, they are Mexican, and I do know that in their culture its incredibly rude to refuse offers of items of consumption, and we had been standing outside in the Vegas heat for a while, so we accepted and consumed. I only drank a quarter of mine. (those things have tons of sugar in them!)

Then, as I was driving to Porterville Friday night, I could feel my blood sugar dropping rapidly. I was in need of food, and food immediately. I didn't bring any extra medifast meals, just the ones (I thought) I would need the next two days. Thankfully, I was driving through a town I am quite familiar with. I knew I could get their within a matter of minutes. I was able to safely get to a fast food place, Jack in the Box to be precise, and order some food. I HATE hamburgers, and knew a salad wouldn't suffice, I needed some carbs for energy to keep me going. I ended up ordering a chicken fajita pita, and eating it in the parking lot. Words can not describe how much better I felt after that. I found myself in a very dangerous, scary position. Dean was also past out in the passenger seat next to me, he too, was not in a position to drive. He was one sleepy monkey, and we were on a time crunch, so we needed to do what we had to march onward!

This decision to jump ship for the weekend had some to do with being  on vacation, but mostly because I was going to run out of food in five days of getting back home, but not being able to afford a food order until Dean gets paid Wednesday, and it takes a week to receive the food.  I gave it considerable thought to eating 3 Medifast Meal replacements each day we were gone, but then I came to the conclusion that I would be wasting a ton of money to half hazardly do the diet (each meal replacement is about 2.50), so I decided to eat the free food that my dad brought.

The good news, I ate things in moderation. I didn't have too much of the pasta or shrimp salad. At the hotel where we lodged Saturday night, their was a free continental breakfast. I consumed things such as mini muffins, mini cinnamon rolls, and biscuit-less gravy.  They had biscuits and gravy. I had been craving biscuits and gravy for a couple of weeks, which is weird because I don't even like biscuits and gravy. I decided not to have the biscuits in order to save on the carbs. 

Yes, I did eat crap this weekend, but I realized I did not like how it made me feel. The food that I consumed made me feel bogged down, but I never once ate food past my satiety (fullness) level.  I missed my medifast food this weekend, I really did. 

Tomorrow is the day that I return back to Medifast. On my way home from the rental car facility, I stopped off at a chicken place. I couldn't eat even one chicken wing without the salt from it literally burning my lips. It made me realize that I never, ever want to eat crappy junk foods again. Holy Hannah, there is obviously an ocean worth of salt in fast food. No wonder America is fat. Tonight, for dinner I am going to eat an artichoke with a home-grown peach. That doesn't sound like that bad of dinner, right? But it definitely isn't approved on plan.

Today, I weighed in at 163. Yes, that does mean an increase in weight. But I am 95% sure its water weight from the carbs and salt I consumed this weekend, along with not drinking nearly enough water all weekend.  I will resume the diet tomorrow, so we will see what next weeks scale brings!

You might be wondering how transition will go when the "real food" made me feel bogged down. The truth is, that the crap that I ate this weekend isn't on transition plan either! Transition is where I gradually add in more fruit and veggies, its not an immediate jump back to carb riddled foods, and fast foods. So I am sure I will be fine. :)

I have become that person....

Another week has gone by... Another day has arrived that I am supposed to hold myself accountable to my blogosphere friends.  Since I became a health coach, my health coach has not given one ounce of care to contact me to hold me accountable, so blogosphere has taken the job!

But before we get to the weight reveal for this week, I'm actually highly concerned about what is coming. I am going on vacation this Saturday and Sunday. I had planned to bring my MediFast meal replacements and eat on plan throughout the weekend.... And then my dad announced he was going to bring his potatoe  salad (my most favorite meal of his)... And then Dean found out  there is their is that irresistible pineapple dole whip at Sea World...  Just thinking about all these temptations and once-in-a -blue -moon -opportunities to indulge myself, is giving me severe anxiety. Can I/ Should I stay on plan? Or should I jump ship for the weekend, and eat travel foods?  I told Dean that I was going to jump ship for the weekend and he gave me a huge high five and said Good! (He is known as the sabatoger, after all) But then I got to thinking about it.... I want to hit my goal of turning into the mini me much sooner then later.... I am so close to crossing the finishing line, that I kind of feel like I would almost be shooting myself in the gut with a fatso if I were to cheat this close to the end. But then I started thinking.... I'm so close to the end, I deserve to indulge, it's been a long road, should their not be a yummy reward somewhere? Then I thought... can my body sustain adventures at an amusement park only on 900ish calories for the whole day?  Then I thought, how can I ask my client's to do something I am not willing to do (stay on plan during a vacation)... My thoughts obviously have become quite loud these days!

An argument that one could present about this is that, why don't I just book the vacation once I am done with my transformation?  This would be a wise idea, but not possible. My dad is able to locate free tickets for Sea World this weekend (which is my number one favorite place!) due to it being free tickets, my favorite place, and being able to see my family (whom I haven't scene since the holidays).... WE ARE GOING!!!

Let's discuss the details about eating on plan.... Sea World has a NO outside food policy.... I really don't want to walk out of the park every 2.5 hours to eat.... I really don't! (the main reason for this to be revealed at the end of this blog), but it would be a waste of time anyway.

I am not sure if Sea World conducts bag searches for food or not.... but the same problem will present itself on Sunday when we go to a Dodgers game. Is food sneak-able? I don't know. 

People on the support FB site for medifast said that yes sea world does conduct bag searches, but they were easily able to sneak the bars in under bottles of water (water is permitted to sneak in)... and for the dodgers game... they suggested wearing an oversized bra and sneaking food in that way... which is not something I am willing to do....

So, I have been thinking a lot about the person I have become....

I have become that person who wants to eat the summer fruits so very badly, and am often offered them, but I say no, I am not eating those items currently.

 I have become that person who takes vegetable trays to 6 year old birthday parties (TRUE STORY!)

And I have become that person who asks the poor McDonald's workers what is the difference between their salads, too which they had no idea..... You might be wondering why I was at McD's in the first  place.... long story short is I was to see clients on the west part of town from 8-12, and then 5:30-7:30, since we are now bus commuters (all of ours no longer function), it was not plausible to come all the way home (an hour and a half bus ride) to go all the way back to West Vegas..... I didn't have time to have my lean and green meal this morning (I caught the 5am bus), so I needed to have one out, and I knew that McD's salads are approved.... but more so than just ordering a Salad, I based my decision on which salad to purchase, based on which one had fewer calories! 

But, during my adventures at McD's this evening, I became that person who spat out a sliver of carrot because it wasn't on plan. Yes, I'm JUST that weird! But that's okay by me!

Okay, so.... I went to Urgent Care yesterday (yes, Heaven forbid I break the Sabbath and seek medical attention on a Sunday).... But I went because I have had excruciating pain (to the point where I can't walk) on my left leg and foot.... The doctor said I have tendonitis (this is the real reason I really don't want to walk in and out of Sea World)... It should take 6-8 Weeks to heal.... but he also asked if I recently gained weight! (THE BIG DONKEY-MONKEY FACE!!!) I informed the monkey that I have indeed lost 85 pounds recently.... His response was that my tendons in my leg, are worn out from being obese!

This made me feel defeated... like I am still being punished for being fat... isn't losing weight supposed to increase your health, and decrease chances of major problems?!?

Well anyway, here is my weight reveal for this week.... Yesterday the scale at Urgent care revealed the numbers 159...that would be just 9 pounds away from sliding into the Healthy Category... That's basically the weight of my freaken swollen calf! I'm going to be honest, I was shocked to see those numbers.... My mini goal was to be in the 150's by my birthday!  However, if I am going to keep this blog honest, my scale revealed the numbers 161...Now, I have two theories for this discrepancy 1. my leg was actually more swollen this morning then it was at the doctors yesterday  2... Only people who have done medifast will understand this, but sometimes there is complications with your digestive system working properly, yes that's all the details you're going to get.... ... so, I don't know which Scale to believe.... I think I will just sneak in another check with Mr. Scale when it's my birthday, just to see if I hit my mini goal or not.



 

Fat Tony

Well, look at that, its Monday. Which means its time for a recap about all things amusing in my journey of shrinking.

Tuesday night we had out monthly meeting for work. Dean actually accompanied me to this meeting, since our truck broke down on the way there. These meeting have never once gone without being accompanied by food, but I was completely startled to find that it wasn't the normal pizza or sandwiches and chips... instead it was chicken and salad!!!! Dean got a plate for me, but I refused it because I had already consumed my lean and green meal for the day, so he scarfed it down instead.  It just felt really great that these people are making healthy choices available. Cake was also included, and I have always been offered cake, but this time (due to it being the anniversary of our company being in business) the cake was cut, and placed on every one's desk, but mine. I have lived the laws of the diet so strictly, that now my friends and employers at work, know my standards of what I consume, and no longer offer me the temptations. That felt good.

At our meeting, I was requested to have a professional photo taken for marketing on our website, the last one I took was me at my highest at 245,  in 2012. The joke of the night was that I needed to submit a new one, because I don't look the same at all.  They want the photo within a month, but I really want to do a new one when I join the centennial club!

Last Sunday Dean called his mom, and was allowed to speak to his Uncle who were their redoing her house. His Uncle invited us out to dinner when they were going to be here Friday night. Dean told him we were on a diet and his response was "Good! You can break your diet, we'll take you out!"  On Thursday night, Dean's cousin called and told us where we would meet up, Container Park. It's a cute little promenade complete with ma and pa shops, and plenty of dining spots. Dean's cousin had specifically mentioned a BBQ place. I had never been to Container Park, so I began to do my research, with the goal of finding something that was on plan to consume, at each place. This goal was 99% met. I found plan-approved items at every place, except for the Mexican place. Well, Friday arrived, as well as his family. They all decided to go to.... yup... the Mexican place. I gave Dean a look of Horror and Terror that resembeled the thought process of "THERE IS NOTHING ON PLAN HERE! I WEIGH IN ON MONDAY!!!I'M GOING TO DIE!" Dean told me to just shut up and eat it. I ordered, a singular chicken taco, everyone else had lingua tacos (cow tongue), they were incredibly small, so I hope that not much damage was done by eating this singular taco. They also tried to get me to eat Mexican corn (which I had already told them that I am not currently eating corn), but I didn't eat any. After the Mexican food escapade, everyone decided to head for the ice cream shop.  You can imagine my relief  when the cute little ice cream dude informed the family that they were out of liquid nitrogen for the night, and consequently, they were out of ice cream. The cute little ice cream dude offered popsicles in place of the ice cream, everyone but Dean and I accepted. These people tried really hard to get me to consume the ice cream pops, but Dean and I both stood firm, and told them that we won't eat ice cream (Dean's a diabetic, remember?)  Dean explained that the ice cream/ popsicles that they were trying to get us to consume was nothing but sugar, and so we would have to respectively decline.  Eating the taco made me realize how much I miss eating "regular foods" the next day I found myself craving old bad habit foods such as tacos, Smash Burger Fries and "Everything But The..." Ice cream. 

Well, the night marched on, and the family entered into the Ma and Pa shops. We went into an art store, where I found (but did not purchase) this little fellow... I think he is just darling, but speaks more truth then anyone can ever speak of.

 

Not only is the Fat Tony the Tiger cute, but the box speaks mountains of truth, in the famous Kellogg fonts. The titles were "KillKids" and "They're gross" and "Sugar Frosted Fat" "A Delicious Effort to Attention Deficit Disorder"... I just thought how true all of these statements are.  : The cereal companies market to the children with cute little cartoon fellows, and then the kids beg and scream for these products, and parents can't say no to their children, so they buy the products. It's genius, really. But, the box that belongs to fat Tony, speaks a lot of truth, about a taboo subject, what are we really feeding our kids? There is also references on the box that say "a delicious short cut to attention deficit disorder...get kids super hyperactive" I do believe that the crap people feed their kids contribute to a less then desired attention span,  and definitely obesity! 

 

Well, its Monday, which means that its my job to announce to blogosphere how much the scale says I weigh today.... A total of 162 pounds! I'm hoping to dip under 160 by my birthday! When I hit 150, I will then be considered to be in the healthy range category. I want to hit 145 though, cause that's when I join the centennial club, and I'll have a little room to eat Thanksgiving dinner and not immediately catapult my self right back into the overweight range!