Monday (after the previous blog was published), was a day to remember. I found out that one of my dear friends of countless years, was called home to our Father after a more then courageous fight with breast cancer. This news came to me seconds before I was stopped at the institute by one of the teachers. He asked if I was vanishing. Which did afford some giggles about it, and he proceeded to ask me: "so what are you doing, Medifast?" he knew, simply by my transformation thus far, that I am getting healthy with Medifast. His wife is also a health coach. But he let me in a secret. His wife had cancer, that never would of been found in time, if she hadn't lost the weight that she needed to, as reported by him. Medifast helped save her life. Early detection because of weight loss, allowed her the best chances of survival.
The news about Millicent returning Home catapulted me into a stage of grief and mourning. She now marks the third friend my age (she was actually 2 years younger than I) that have lost their battles with the monster of a disease that cancer is. And there are more, that are in the midst of their fights. I just keep thinking that it's not fair, your friends are not supposed to pass away until your like, 110 years old. Well anyway, a life is a constant roller coaster and you just have to march on to the beat of time.
At the institute I was surrounded by good friends, who did not know about the moment of grief and mourning that I was in, but they checked in on me anyway. I informed them that I had hit the 90 pound mark, and they rejoiced in my progress, along side of me. I was able to see "E" (the guy who told me about the program a year ago) and was able to check in with him. Unfortunately he went back to his bad habits of eating crappy foods, and has gain some weight back. It made me realize, more then ever, that I don't want to be the person who puts back on any weight. I have come too far to slam myself into reverse. I have. I don't want to go back to the fatso me!
Many people have asked "I bet you feel tons better!" and other such sentiments. The truth is, I suppose this is true. I don't remember feeling ill, but I feel......... more confident now.
When I got home from the institute, my grief and mourning continued to consume me. It was time to eat, and I just wanted to eat some crappy food, like ice cream or cake to cope. But then I realized two things. Our house now longer harbors these poisons. Secondly, what would the 2,000 calories of binge eating because of sadness really do for me? For one, it would throw me out of fat burn. For two, it would not solve my problem of missing my friend. So many people are emotional eaters, they turn to their favorite junk foods when they have a hard day. But, after analyzing this over the last several months, I have decided that being an emotional eater, or binge eating, solves absolutely nothing. I could almost say that it causes more problems. Similar to how drinking alcohol causes more problems, instead of solving the problems. I decided that day, that I am, and no longer will be an emotional eater. I don't need to be a food addict, I just don't.
Sorry this blog as been so somber. We will move on to kicks and giggles regarding my journey.
Last post I forgot to mention one thing that was funny. On Saturday we went to the church to help clean it. I can't count the number of times I was asked if we are new in the ward, or what our names were. This either does two things: One, it can prove how invisible we are in the ward (no, it's not a large ward by any means, there's maybe 50 of us on a regular basis), or it tells a tale of how we are unrecognizable now!
Last night was my famous monthly meeting at work. I was asked what size I am in now, a response I could lend no more than an "I don't know" to. Because, I don't. My clothes are all too big, and I don't know what my current size is. Instead I offered the inquiring minds and "I don't know, but I have now lost a total of 90 pounds."
As I have mentioned before, these meetings are always accompanied by food. Usually pizza. This time the pizza was also accompanied by salad. . "S" made it a point to announce that this salad was bought just for me. As the meeting proceeded "S" asked THE ENTIRE COMPANY: "Has everyone gotten something to eat, accept for Tiana, cause she is on a diet, and has lost 90 pounds, and wants to lose 10 more pounds???" This question was accomanied with a smile bigger then the state of Texas. (Insert my face turning bright red from embarrassment here) The room erupted in applause and whistles. (I hate the noise of either one) ... But her announcement led to inquiring minds.
One person inquired about the program. She wanted to know if it worked. Others chimed in, "WELL OBVIOUSLY!" She wanted to know more, I told her I would explain everything after the meeting. I met with her for a second afterwards and told her about it. She asked to see photos, I pulled out the ipad, and showed her, my heaviest photo, my 16 week progress photo, and my most shocking photo. Her reply was a constant "Holy S****!!!!" Anyway, she is super interested in the program. So, she might be signing up under me, and that would equate having a coworker as a client, and more money in my pocket, plus health for her. I hope she joins the healthy-people-bandwagon!
As always "S" stops by each person's desk and offers the chosen sweet treat for the night. "M" leaned over, and said "Just say No." My response was: "I always do." However, "S" passed by me, and didn't offer it to me, in support of me, and knowing about my journey. These two actually worked together to pass on their unwanted food to me, when I was quickly running out of food. I have one packet from them that I have kept on the top basket of my food racks. It's purpose being there, is to remind me of the support and cheerleaders I have had on my journey. No, they are not some psycho people who sneak into my house and make sure I only have plan approved food in my residence, but they support me, by just cheering me on. And donating food to me, and telling me it's okay to say no to food pushers. They let me know they are standing in the four corners of our world, watching in awe, that I am doing something, nothing short of remarkable. I really, really appreciate the support that they have offered, and continued to offer.
At the end of the night, there was left overs. "S" was trying to pawn off the left overs on anyone she could. No one was biting at the offer. I turned and said " 'S" I'll take some home. The dear-in-the-headlights-look on her face was more than hilariously priceless. I can't even type this paragraph without cracking up. "S" didn't know what to do, or how to respond. I then just said " 'S" I'm totally just kidding!"
Saturday is the free clothing exchange day, but since I don't know what size I am, I am off to try on some clothes at Target to determine my new sizes I need to hunt down Saturday.
Thanks for reading this long post, and being my supportive cheerleaders, all of you. I'll check back in on Monday.
Many people have asked "I bet you feel tons better!" and other such sentiments. The truth is, I suppose this is true. I don't remember feeling ill, but I feel......... more confident now.
When I got home from the institute, my grief and mourning continued to consume me. It was time to eat, and I just wanted to eat some crappy food, like ice cream or cake to cope. But then I realized two things. Our house now longer harbors these poisons. Secondly, what would the 2,000 calories of binge eating because of sadness really do for me? For one, it would throw me out of fat burn. For two, it would not solve my problem of missing my friend. So many people are emotional eaters, they turn to their favorite junk foods when they have a hard day. But, after analyzing this over the last several months, I have decided that being an emotional eater, or binge eating, solves absolutely nothing. I could almost say that it causes more problems. Similar to how drinking alcohol causes more problems, instead of solving the problems. I decided that day, that I am, and no longer will be an emotional eater. I don't need to be a food addict, I just don't.
Sorry this blog as been so somber. We will move on to kicks and giggles regarding my journey.
Last post I forgot to mention one thing that was funny. On Saturday we went to the church to help clean it. I can't count the number of times I was asked if we are new in the ward, or what our names were. This either does two things: One, it can prove how invisible we are in the ward (no, it's not a large ward by any means, there's maybe 50 of us on a regular basis), or it tells a tale of how we are unrecognizable now!
Last night was my famous monthly meeting at work. I was asked what size I am in now, a response I could lend no more than an "I don't know" to. Because, I don't. My clothes are all too big, and I don't know what my current size is. Instead I offered the inquiring minds and "I don't know, but I have now lost a total of 90 pounds."
As I have mentioned before, these meetings are always accompanied by food. Usually pizza. This time the pizza was also accompanied by salad. . "S" made it a point to announce that this salad was bought just for me. As the meeting proceeded "S" asked THE ENTIRE COMPANY: "Has everyone gotten something to eat, accept for Tiana, cause she is on a diet, and has lost 90 pounds, and wants to lose 10 more pounds???" This question was accomanied with a smile bigger then the state of Texas. (Insert my face turning bright red from embarrassment here) The room erupted in applause and whistles. (I hate the noise of either one) ... But her announcement led to inquiring minds.
One person inquired about the program. She wanted to know if it worked. Others chimed in, "WELL OBVIOUSLY!" She wanted to know more, I told her I would explain everything after the meeting. I met with her for a second afterwards and told her about it. She asked to see photos, I pulled out the ipad, and showed her, my heaviest photo, my 16 week progress photo, and my most shocking photo. Her reply was a constant "Holy S****!!!!" Anyway, she is super interested in the program. So, she might be signing up under me, and that would equate having a coworker as a client, and more money in my pocket, plus health for her. I hope she joins the healthy-people-bandwagon!
As always "S" stops by each person's desk and offers the chosen sweet treat for the night. "M" leaned over, and said "Just say No." My response was: "I always do." However, "S" passed by me, and didn't offer it to me, in support of me, and knowing about my journey. These two actually worked together to pass on their unwanted food to me, when I was quickly running out of food. I have one packet from them that I have kept on the top basket of my food racks. It's purpose being there, is to remind me of the support and cheerleaders I have had on my journey. No, they are not some psycho people who sneak into my house and make sure I only have plan approved food in my residence, but they support me, by just cheering me on. And donating food to me, and telling me it's okay to say no to food pushers. They let me know they are standing in the four corners of our world, watching in awe, that I am doing something, nothing short of remarkable. I really, really appreciate the support that they have offered, and continued to offer.
At the end of the night, there was left overs. "S" was trying to pawn off the left overs on anyone she could. No one was biting at the offer. I turned and said " 'S" I'll take some home. The dear-in-the-headlights-look on her face was more than hilariously priceless. I can't even type this paragraph without cracking up. "S" didn't know what to do, or how to respond. I then just said " 'S" I'm totally just kidding!"
Saturday is the free clothing exchange day, but since I don't know what size I am, I am off to try on some clothes at Target to determine my new sizes I need to hunt down Saturday.
Thanks for reading this long post, and being my supportive cheerleaders, all of you. I'll check back in on Monday.
No comments:
Post a Comment