Explosion of Secrets

Okay, so here is a random-its-not-Monday update!

The URL of this blog is the secret life of a fatso, so here are some secrets for you! I have to live up to the quirky name, right?

There have been an overwhelming number of supporters who have backed me up on my journey, and to those people I continually say thank you, and that your support helps me keep going!

There have been a few a few people have been trying to sabotage me, and my efforts, to get healthy. There have been people who have called what I am doing a "stupid, silly diet" there have been people who have snuck marshmallows into my food. And there have been other's that that have
tried to sabotage me by saying things such as: "You're not beautiful by what the number on the scale says, you're beautiful by how confident you are in the body god gave you! We're all different. We come in all different shapes and sizes."  And telling me that I should not lose weight. There have also been people who have said that I'm loosing weight too quickly, and that I need to stop.  No, by no means were any of these people doctors. By no means am I stupid, and I am indeed doing this under the supervision of my doctor. He has been following me throughout my journey, and he was ecstatic when Dean and I made an appointment to speak with him and bring up our own obesity, and what we wanted to do about it. He was even more ecstatic when we told him what weight loss program we were going to pursue. He endorsed it by saying that is safe, effective, and that it works.

Its comforting to know that most of my friends and family are encouraging me through my transition. And it's disappointing to me to find out that some people are less than supportive. Perhaps they are jealous of my transition, or perhaps they are just not good friends. I don't know.

I chose to do this weight loss problem, to reclaim my own health, I'm not doing it for anyone else, but me. I know that obesity can lead to devastating silent killers, such as heart disease and diabetes. I watched my mother's life be stolen by diabetes. Yes, I have heard the comments: "well you weren't really related to her, since you were adopted so you don't need to worry about that." Research tells us that being overweight leads to both heart disease and diabetes, regardless of what your DNA make up is.

As a member of the LDS church, we have always been taught that our bodies are temples, and that we need to take care of our bodies. If we allow our bodies to fall prey to the obesity epidemic, and then decide not to do something about it, how is that taking care of our bodies?

I work for a great guy, who always pushes us to be better individuals. He is also a motivational speaker.  In January, at our monthly meeting, he had us make a list, perhaps similar to New Year's Resolutions, and to pick JUST ONE THING to give all of our focus on. The more extravagant lists of 10 or more,  never work out. But when you can focus on just one, it's a lot more easier to succeed.  I choose my ONE THING this year to be weight loss. I'm not going to apologize if this upsets anyone, frankly, it's my life, my body, my decision, and if you don't like it, well, you can go jump off a bridge of skittles. Besides school, it's all I am focused on. I am loving the fact that I can shop at regular clothing stores, that I look and feel amazing, and that I am taking care of me, for once.

Today, I decided to get rid of some of my "fat clothes" today. I intended to get rid of more than what I did,  but my husband removed some of what was in the pile, and hung them back up, insisting I keep some clothes. I went to our local DI store (a thrift store) and dropped off the bag of clothes I was "allowed" to donate. While I was there, I decided to shop for new clothes.  I went with a set budget of 20 dollars, that sounded reasonable to me.  I did find some shirts, and I tried them on. I WAS ABLE TO FIT COMFORTABLY INTO A MEDIUM SIZE SHIRT! Although, I tried all of these on, I decided to purchase non of them. I knew that would warrant Dean yelling at me when I got home, and the pain that would cause, I just didn't feel like it was worth it. 

Another question that I have continually gotten is "how long will you be on your diet for?" The answer is for always and forever. Once I get to my optimum weight, I won't be purchasing the food orders anymore, but I will continue to take what I have learned in this process, follow it, and then I will be in the "maintenance phase" of this weight loss program. I suppose that the people who ask this question want to know when I will stop with the food orders, the answer to that, is I have no idea as I can't predict the future. Typical results are 10 pounds a month on the program that I am doing.  And since I have about 50 more to go, I suspect at least 5 more months. I am hoping to be done with the weight loss phase, by the end of the summer.  We are planning on seeing family in August, and I want to debut my new body then. :)

One of the "side effects" of this plan is increased fertility. While I know we will need to pursue fertility treatments, I kind of want to have an appointment with our fertility doctor and ask her how long we should wait until we pursue treatments after dropping a ton of weight, because I am nervous about that, and not knowing the answer is driving me crazy. And before you launch "you should do fertility treatments before losing the weight" comments... the truth is, most fertility doctor's won't perform the procedures,  until you are in a healthy weight. The heavier you are, the more dangerous pregnancies are, and the likelihood that the embryos won't take also increases.

Also, remember the video I talked about during my last post, it is now published. Problem is, Facebook was the only site that would take it.

The only two "problems" that I am currently having while on the weight loss program is that,  I wish I was losing the weight faster,  losing the 50 pounds in a month would be fantastic (yes, I know that's not reality) but, it sound's like fun. :p... also, my second problem, is that I wish I was loosing the weight in "specific areas," guess I can't control that either. Also, I want my arm's to shrink faster than they are!