Last Saturday, at work, I noticed a tree.
It was odd shaped, two were standing awfully close, and were strong. And one near it, was all alone, and didn't look nearly as strong, it wasn't nearly as full of leaves as the ones that stood together. I thought that it kind of resembled how there is strength in numbers. And when there is one standing all alone, it is weaker.
The good thing about the weight loss program, is that there is strength in numbers, many people who I know are doing the program. Many of us share a common hang out spot, where there is consistent offers of free food, which is usually hot dogs, where there is ice cream readily available. It's a lot easier to refuse unhealthy foods. We sit on the couches, and chow down on our healthy meal replacements, and enjoy it! I also found out that two of them don't like the Mac 'N Cheese, but I do, so I am going to trade them something for their Mac 'N Cheese, it has become a three- ring-circus -pseudo-food-swap! As our little crew has been shrinking in regards to how much we weigh, we have been noticing that some of the other folks who have not done the program, their weights are dramatically increasing, it's rather kind of depressing.
I am beyond ecstatic to announce that my little team of family and friends doing the weight loss program doubled this week! Yes, that only means one more joined in, but one is better than none. Everyone give "M" a cyber wave and a welcome! I have decided to omit any real names to any one that may be mentioned on this blog in order to grant them anonymity. Although they have granted me permission to talk about her on my blog, I feel like they should stay anonymous.
And no, I did not read her the interested script that I have been pushed to call up everyone I know. She did however read through my entire blog right after she heard about the program!
It started out as small chit chat, she asked what I had been up to, I told her losing weight, and the rest is history. She was already desiring a change, and looking for something to try. I am so happy for her.
Because we are doing this together, it will be easier than if we were lone birds doing it.
Also, last Friday, (3/21/14) I was reminded of my mom throughout the day. One of our light bulbs had burnt out. I told Dean that I would go to the store and get a new one, that we didn't have the kind we needed. He searched through out light bulb station, and found a light bulb. I told him that wasn't the right one, we needed a normal one, and that one was circular one for the kitchen. He didn't believe me, so he decided to read the package, amongst him reading the package, the light bulb slid out, and crashed onto the floor, turning it into 6 million little pieces. I could have gotten mad because he didn't believe me, but instead, I heard my mom's voice saying "there's no use in crying over spilt milk" she would always say that when accidents happened when I was a kiddo. It always meant, "it's okay, it could have been worse. Things are replaceable. Anger hurts people, and sometimes you can't fix that." I didn't yell at Dean about the light, instead we laughed, cleaned it up, and got a new one (the one we needed). When I was running the errands, I decided to stop in at Kohls and look for some new clothes. The first shirt I saw when I walked in was a shirt decorated with sequence. My mom LOVED wearing sequence. Her favorite sweatshirt was decorated in multiple colors of sequence. It reminded me that she is always looking out for me. It made me feel like she is proud of me for taking back my health. That she was there, cheering me on, like she always did in mortality. Yes, I know that sounds incredibly bizarre, but it is what it is. I will take any tender mercies that surface.
On Friday, (3/28/14) while I was walking the dog, the neighbor came out to the curb to ask me a question. We always stop at their house and let their kids play with Lucky. But that day the mom came out and asked "You're losing a lot of weight, aren't you? Are you okay, or is something wrong?" She also told me that I look great! (That always feels great!) I told her that I am losing weight on purpose, and that I am perfectly healthy. She asked about the program, for a friend of hers that weighs in excess of 300 pounds. It would be great if she joins in on all the fun! On Saturday, while on our walk with Lucky, I gave the neighbor two pamphlets about the program, and answered a ton of questions, I was waiting for her to ask me if they have someone that can speak to her in Spanish. And of course, she did. I know that my health coach speaks Spanish, so I told her to call my number and that I can put her in touch with someone who speaks Spanish. I thought even when I try to acquire clients, I still don't get them. My health coach ends up with them. How much defeat is in that? An overwhelming amount.
On Sunday (3/30/14) Dean requested fish for dinner. Not our healthy plan approved fish, but deep fried, smashed in between two large pieces of bread, smothered in tarter sauce, and cheese. I felt, anger and disappointment. He spent several months working toward dropping the number on the scale, shrinking his pant sizes, and hoping to no longer be considered a diabetic. Only to immediately go back to old habits. Of course one dinner won't make him gain 45 pounds back immediately, but on Saturday I also discovered that he managed to stop at Winco and purchase his beloved "boxed crap" a wide variety variety of pasta ronis, rice a roni's, etc. Oh, and I also found wrappers that belonged to Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. It was just devastating to find out that he doesn't care about his long term health. My dad, however, has remained supportive, and suggested that I make Dean a meal replacement Brownie, and stick a candle in it, for Dean's birthday on Tuesday.
As for my weigh in today, it must be prefaced by saying that all week my scale has been nothing short of possessed. Last week, I didn't believe the 190 weigh in, I thought if I really had lost 4 pounds in one week, my clothes would be looser. So I weighed myself again, and it was 194. I weighed myself again, to get a reading of 164. I snuck a couple of other "scale checks" this week, and they ranged from 153-200. I'm not stupid, and I know that's not right. We attempted to move it to a different location to see if that would fix the demons in the thing. They just got worse. All of a sudden it started giving us a European Measurement. This morning, it appears that I found a spot in our home that allowed the scale to be consistent. I consistently got a reading for 191. I'm not disappointed (cause I really didn't believe the 190 weigh in last week) and because I bought a size 16 pair of pants last week, that are now wearable only with a belt. I do think I lost several pounds this week, but there is no telling. If I can be in the 180's next week, I will be a very happy camper.
I am a very happy camper this week for another reason though. My husband, Dean's birthday is tomorrow. Last week I went and got him a birthday present. I decided to get him new pants. Because he has lost weight, his pants have been making him look like sponge-bob square pants, gangster style. I completely guessed his pant sizes. I gave his present to him today, one pair of jeans and a pair of Dickies (hoping that they are acceptable for work, as they look like slacks), and he comfortably fits into a size 32/30... When we moved here in 2011, we were buying him 42/30. If that's not a significant non scale victory, I don't know what is. He is wearing the size he was in High School.
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