Mid- Week Check In!

It's been a while since I posted a mid week check in, and I have things to do and places to go, but the locations I need to go to are not opened yet,  so, blogging will occur right now.  :)

Monday (after the previous blog was published), was a day to remember. I found out that one of my dear friends of countless years, was called home to our Father after a more then courageous fight with breast cancer.  This news came to me seconds before I was stopped at the institute by one of the teachers. He asked if I was vanishing. Which did afford some giggles about it, and he proceeded to ask me: "so what are you doing, Medifast?" he knew, simply by my transformation thus far, that I am getting healthy with Medifast. His wife is also a health coach. But he let me in a secret. His wife had cancer, that never would of been found in time, if she hadn't lost the weight that she needed to, as reported by him. Medifast helped save her life. Early detection because of weight loss, allowed her the best chances of survival. 

The news about Millicent returning Home catapulted me into a stage of grief and mourning. She now marks the third friend my age (she was actually 2 years younger than I) that have lost their battles with the monster of a disease that cancer is.  And there are more, that are in the midst of their fights. I just keep thinking that it's not fair, your friends are not supposed to pass away until your like, 110 years old. Well anyway, a life is a constant roller coaster and you just have to march on to the beat of time. 

At the institute I was surrounded by good friends, who did not know about the moment of grief and mourning that I was in, but they checked in on me anyway.  I informed them that I had hit the 90 pound mark, and they rejoiced in my progress, along side of me.  I was able to see "E" (the guy who told me about the program a year ago) and was able to check in with him. Unfortunately he went back to his bad habits of eating crappy foods, and has gain some weight back.  It made me realize, more then ever, that I don't want to be the person who puts back on any weight. I have come too far to slam myself into reverse. I have. I don't want to go back to the fatso me!

Many people have asked "I bet you feel tons better!" and other such sentiments. The truth is, I suppose this is true. I don't remember feeling ill, but I feel......... more confident now.

When I got home from the institute, my grief and mourning continued to consume me.  It was time to eat, and I just wanted to eat some crappy food, like ice cream or cake to cope.  But then I realized two things. Our house now longer harbors these poisons. Secondly, what would the 2,000 calories of binge eating because of sadness really do for me? For one, it would throw me out of fat burn. For two, it would not solve my problem of missing my friend.  So many people are emotional eaters, they turn to their favorite junk foods when they have a hard day. But, after analyzing this over the last several months, I have decided that being an emotional eater, or binge eating, solves absolutely nothing.  I could almost say that it causes more problems. Similar to how drinking alcohol causes more problems, instead of solving the problems. I decided that day, that I am, and no longer will be an emotional eater. I don't need to be a food addict, I just don't.

Sorry this blog as been so somber. We will move on to kicks and giggles regarding my journey.

Last post I forgot to mention one thing that was funny. On Saturday we went to the church to help clean it. I can't count the number of times I was asked if we are new in the ward, or what our names were. This either does two things: One, it can prove how invisible we are in the ward (no, it's not a large ward by any means, there's maybe 50 of us on a regular basis), or it tells a tale of how we are unrecognizable now!

Last night was my famous monthly meeting at work.  I was asked what size I am in now,   a response I could lend no more than an "I don't know" to.   Because, I don't. My clothes are all too big, and I don't know what my current size is. Instead I offered the inquiring minds and "I don't know, but I have now lost a total of 90 pounds."

As I have mentioned before, these meetings are always accompanied by food. Usually pizza. This time the pizza was also accompanied by salad. . "S" made it a point to announce that this salad was bought just for me. As the meeting proceeded "S" asked THE ENTIRE COMPANY: "Has everyone gotten something to eat, accept for Tiana, cause she is on a diet, and has lost 90 pounds, and wants to lose 10 more pounds???" This question was accomanied with a smile bigger then the state of Texas. (Insert my face turning bright red from embarrassment here) The room erupted in applause and whistles. (I hate the noise of either one) ... But her announcement led to inquiring minds.

One person inquired about the program. She wanted to know if it worked. Others chimed in, "WELL OBVIOUSLY!" She wanted to know more,  I told her I would explain everything after the meeting. I met with her for a second afterwards and told her about it.  She asked to see photos, I pulled out the ipad, and showed her, my heaviest photo, my 16 week progress photo, and my most shocking photo.  Her reply was a constant "Holy S****!!!!"  Anyway, she is super interested in the program. So, she might be signing up under me, and that would equate having a coworker as a client, and more money in my pocket, plus health for her. I hope she joins the healthy-people-bandwagon!

As always "S" stops by each person's desk and offers the chosen sweet treat for the night. "M" leaned over, and said "Just say No." My response was:  "I always do."  However, "S" passed by me, and didn't offer it to me, in support of me, and knowing about my journey. These two actually worked together to pass on their unwanted food to me, when I was quickly running out of food. I have one packet from them that I have kept  on the top basket of my food racks. It's purpose being there, is to remind me of the support and cheerleaders I have had on my journey. No, they are not some psycho people who sneak into my house and make sure I only have plan approved food in my residence, but they support me, by just cheering me on. And donating food to me, and telling me it's okay to say no to food pushers. They let me know they are standing in the four corners of our world, watching in awe, that I am doing something, nothing short of remarkable.  I really, really appreciate the support that they have offered, and continued to offer.

At the end of the night, there was left overs. "S" was trying to pawn off the left overs on anyone she could. No one was biting at the offer. I turned and said " 'S" I'll take some home. The dear-in-the-headlights-look on her face was more than hilariously priceless. I can't even type this paragraph without cracking up.  "S" didn't know what to do, or how to respond.  I then just said " 'S" I'm totally just kidding!"

Saturday is the free clothing exchange day, but since I don't know what size I am, I am off to try on some clothes at Target to determine my new sizes I need to hunt down Saturday.

Thanks for reading this long post, and being my supportive cheerleaders, all of you. I'll check back in on Monday. 

Giggles

So, last week, was one for the books of hilarious.

Monday I went to the office for some business chatter.  One person offered me some sweet rolls. I said thanks, but no thanks.

Then "A" offered the same sweet rolls to me, as she was watching me make a strawberry shake and giggling at me, she too, is a health coach for the same program. She stepped outside of the room we were in, immediately stepped back in, and proceeded to offer me a loaf of bread instead... too which my response was "'A' seriously??? She and I laughed even harder... Her response: Sorry, out of habit, I offer food to everyone!

Later that Day, Dean noticed that it was my mom's birthday. He asked "don't you always make something on her birthday." I said yes, that I usually make Missippi Mud Cake, but I also informed him that I was not going to do that this year. He said: "why not? You make. I eat. You watch."  Jerk. 

Well, anyway the rest of the week went on with not much to laugh at. Except for uncomfortable things have gotten. We are now bus commuters. Which means we get to spend countless hours waiting for busses to come on hard benches, and cement sidewalks...I have noticed now that I'm too boney now, and I can't get comfortable! Even at home when I am sitting on my floor, I can't get comfortable! This is a serious problem! 

We an also can  laugh at an event that happened several weeks ago was that I had to go to the local police department for a background check, I had to fill out my information, you know things like hair and eye color, and body build. I left the body build portion blank. I didn't know what to put. They lady at the counter filled this portion in for me.  She wrote this: 

Yes. She wrote thin. My local police department considers my build to be thin now... That's a far cry from the severely obese category I used to be in! 

Okay, well, I guess we could laugh at how way too big all of my clothes are gotten. Every Sunday I always say that I don't have anything to wear, but this Sunday , those words rang so very true. Every single skirt I tried on, were way too big... Including a sized small skirt. This poses a problem! I have no money to go shopping, I had planned to stow away 10 bucks a week for a grand shopping trip, but we needed to use that money to bail kitty Kat Kay out of the pound instead. Yes. I forfitted stuff for me in order to get my own cat back, and I am perfectly okay with that!  

But, life is about finding solutions to problems.  Every year, our stake hosts a free clothing exchange. People donate their unwanted items, and people pick up whatever clothes they want. All for free, and with no limits. As much as I have wanted to go shopping for myself at a new clothing store, dean has always said that I can't. I can't spend money on myself, no matter how little or large the purchases are.  This clothing exchange, is going to be held this Saturday. So we are going to go shopping for free! 

On Sunday, more giggles ensued. I took my kiddos that I work with. I was able to run and keep up with them! I also played on a not-very-sturdy play structure with them. I went down the slides many times (there made for 2-5 year olds!)

Secrets: Exposed. I have only been doing this program haphazardly. There is a textbook (Habits of Health by Dr. Anderson) and workbook that, theoretically you should be reading and working through while you eat the food. I haven't given much thought to reading the book. Let's be honest, I haven't had the time between school and work. However, I am on vacation for the next three weeks, so I am giving thought to reading the book. We'll see how far I entertain that idea. I do have the book. It's currently sitting right next me.
 

Some of my blog talkers have requested updated photos of me... I'm wanting to wait to do this until I cross the finish line... The photo will be mor shocking that way, I think. I have about 10 more pounds to go (doesn't that seem like a lot?!?!). My reasoning for this is that if I post one now, and then another one in a couple of more weeks, the shock value simply won't be there!  I don't think people can really tell when a mere 10 pounds have been lost.

Today, they scale revealed the numbers.... 155. That means I am one pound away from sliding into the healthy category..... But on the flip side of that coin it means that I have now have lost a grand total of 90 pounds.

"Holy Cow"

Well, look at that.... Surprise its Monday...

I went back on Plan on Tuesday, Tuesday was a very rough day.... I ended up being at work for nearly 7 hours, with no opportunities to chow down on a meal replacement... Towards the end of the day,  I felt ill, like I needed something to eat, and immediately, similar to what I felt Friday night. I knew I had a 2 hour bus ride home, and began to think frantically of places I could go nearby for some healthy food. Thankfully a friend and coworker of mine offered me a ride home, so I got home much sooner then later, and was able to eat my lean and green upon arriving home. The following days were rough.... I wanted Olive Garden and Popcorn oh so very badly....I think this speaks to how salt can be so addictive. I was good though, and didn't succumb to temptation. Update regarding this popcorn temptation: On Saturday, Take Shape For Life announced new snacks. 2 flavors of popcorn, and 2 flavors of chips. I am excited to try those!

On Wednesday I was able to purchase a new order, and it should be here on Tuesday (Tomorrow), which is the exact day I will run out of current food. So that's good. However, I realized that most of the items I chose for this month, is mostly chocolate, and I am expecting most of it to arrive melted, unfortunately so.

It is unclear or not weather I will purchase one more food order. I am hoping to reach my first goal of 150 with this food order, however, I want to hit 145, when I hit 145 I will have join the centennial club.... 145 is comfortably in the healthy weight range, 154 is just barely in the healthy weight range, (if you utilize the BMI chart according to the center of disease control and prevention) so you can see my reasoning for pushing myself that much further. However, I will be basically out of work for the duration of at least 3 weeks because my client's are going to be on vacation, so it goes without saying, that we will be unable to afford it.

Many people have inquired what I am going to do to celebrate my success when I am done with the shrinking part of my journey, for a while, I was determined to go to Disneyland. But I don't think that's in the cards for me anymore, due to it's outrageous cost. But I have been thinking that I kind of want to celebrate with my friends and family. I know it will never, ever happen, but I think it would be cool to have a reception-type event where we all (the several of us who have dropped tons of weight together) reveal our new looks to our family and friends. I think that would be fun, but know it's an unrealistic expectation. I know that if my Momma were still alive, she would definitely throw this for us. But, since she returned home, I know that's not a realistic expectation.

Saturday night we attended a farewell party for our current institute director.

I was applauded for my hard work and determination. I always dismiss the hard work comments. That is because I picture work for weight loss as having to spend hours a day at the gym. With the weight loss program that I have done, it's no harder then just eating. I simply just eat what is prescribed. It is true that motivation and determination is what helps me refuse foods that are not healthy that are offered.  Saturday night while at the farewell party, there was a bountiful amount of unhealthy foods such as nachos, brownies, cookies, cakes, candy, etc.  While I gave eating these items a minimal amount of thought, I chose not to partake, instead I ate a meal replacement bar during the event.  Seeing the numbers on the scale move downwards means more to me then enjoying fattening foods with friends.  Someone also stated that many people have chosen to just die from complications of obesity, rather then cure themselves of it. They said a lot of people don't have the determination or motivation. I let him in on a secret. I watched my mom's life be stolen by diabetes, and I refuse to follow that example.  I would almost venture to say that I have shrunk, in memoriam of her. Today is her birthday.

The scale revealed the numbers of 156.... that's just 2 pounds away from escaping the overweight range on the BMI chart (if you use the cdc.gov BMI calculator)... So happy birthday, Mom. I'm almost healthy!!! 

Ship: Abandoned

It's Monday. Here is the 360 degrees of updates.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I did go on vacation this past weekend. The decision that I ultimately made regarding weather to stay on Medifast or not while on vacation, ultimately reached to jump ship for the weekend.  This actually all started on Thursday.

Thursday evening, on our walk with Lucky, we were stopped by our friendly neighbors.  They are probably the only two people who we can call friends here, and they just live a few doors down. We ended up hanging out with them and there two kids, for a couple of hours discussing concerns that are occurring in our community.  We were there so long, that the mom offered us a drink. Dean and I both said we would take water, and that we don't drink anything else.  Then the mom demanded that the dad bring us sobes. We again said we don't drink..... but then she cut us off and said it's not alcohol its juice! This amusingly reminded me of when my old friends from Fresno introduced them to me. They all went into the convenience store to get some sobe's on a group date that we were on, and I belligerently refused to receive one, because I thought they contained alcohol. (yes, I know they really don't) Well anyways, we both accepted our friend's generous offers of the Sobes, they are Mexican, and I do know that in their culture its incredibly rude to refuse offers of items of consumption, and we had been standing outside in the Vegas heat for a while, so we accepted and consumed. I only drank a quarter of mine. (those things have tons of sugar in them!)

Then, as I was driving to Porterville Friday night, I could feel my blood sugar dropping rapidly. I was in need of food, and food immediately. I didn't bring any extra medifast meals, just the ones (I thought) I would need the next two days. Thankfully, I was driving through a town I am quite familiar with. I knew I could get their within a matter of minutes. I was able to safely get to a fast food place, Jack in the Box to be precise, and order some food. I HATE hamburgers, and knew a salad wouldn't suffice, I needed some carbs for energy to keep me going. I ended up ordering a chicken fajita pita, and eating it in the parking lot. Words can not describe how much better I felt after that. I found myself in a very dangerous, scary position. Dean was also past out in the passenger seat next to me, he too, was not in a position to drive. He was one sleepy monkey, and we were on a time crunch, so we needed to do what we had to march onward!

This decision to jump ship for the weekend had some to do with being  on vacation, but mostly because I was going to run out of food in five days of getting back home, but not being able to afford a food order until Dean gets paid Wednesday, and it takes a week to receive the food.  I gave it considerable thought to eating 3 Medifast Meal replacements each day we were gone, but then I came to the conclusion that I would be wasting a ton of money to half hazardly do the diet (each meal replacement is about 2.50), so I decided to eat the free food that my dad brought.

The good news, I ate things in moderation. I didn't have too much of the pasta or shrimp salad. At the hotel where we lodged Saturday night, their was a free continental breakfast. I consumed things such as mini muffins, mini cinnamon rolls, and biscuit-less gravy.  They had biscuits and gravy. I had been craving biscuits and gravy for a couple of weeks, which is weird because I don't even like biscuits and gravy. I decided not to have the biscuits in order to save on the carbs. 

Yes, I did eat crap this weekend, but I realized I did not like how it made me feel. The food that I consumed made me feel bogged down, but I never once ate food past my satiety (fullness) level.  I missed my medifast food this weekend, I really did. 

Tomorrow is the day that I return back to Medifast. On my way home from the rental car facility, I stopped off at a chicken place. I couldn't eat even one chicken wing without the salt from it literally burning my lips. It made me realize that I never, ever want to eat crappy junk foods again. Holy Hannah, there is obviously an ocean worth of salt in fast food. No wonder America is fat. Tonight, for dinner I am going to eat an artichoke with a home-grown peach. That doesn't sound like that bad of dinner, right? But it definitely isn't approved on plan.

Today, I weighed in at 163. Yes, that does mean an increase in weight. But I am 95% sure its water weight from the carbs and salt I consumed this weekend, along with not drinking nearly enough water all weekend.  I will resume the diet tomorrow, so we will see what next weeks scale brings!

You might be wondering how transition will go when the "real food" made me feel bogged down. The truth is, that the crap that I ate this weekend isn't on transition plan either! Transition is where I gradually add in more fruit and veggies, its not an immediate jump back to carb riddled foods, and fast foods. So I am sure I will be fine. :)

I have become that person....

Another week has gone by... Another day has arrived that I am supposed to hold myself accountable to my blogosphere friends.  Since I became a health coach, my health coach has not given one ounce of care to contact me to hold me accountable, so blogosphere has taken the job!

But before we get to the weight reveal for this week, I'm actually highly concerned about what is coming. I am going on vacation this Saturday and Sunday. I had planned to bring my MediFast meal replacements and eat on plan throughout the weekend.... And then my dad announced he was going to bring his potatoe  salad (my most favorite meal of his)... And then Dean found out  there is their is that irresistible pineapple dole whip at Sea World...  Just thinking about all these temptations and once-in-a -blue -moon -opportunities to indulge myself, is giving me severe anxiety. Can I/ Should I stay on plan? Or should I jump ship for the weekend, and eat travel foods?  I told Dean that I was going to jump ship for the weekend and he gave me a huge high five and said Good! (He is known as the sabatoger, after all) But then I got to thinking about it.... I want to hit my goal of turning into the mini me much sooner then later.... I am so close to crossing the finishing line, that I kind of feel like I would almost be shooting myself in the gut with a fatso if I were to cheat this close to the end. But then I started thinking.... I'm so close to the end, I deserve to indulge, it's been a long road, should their not be a yummy reward somewhere? Then I thought... can my body sustain adventures at an amusement park only on 900ish calories for the whole day?  Then I thought, how can I ask my client's to do something I am not willing to do (stay on plan during a vacation)... My thoughts obviously have become quite loud these days!

An argument that one could present about this is that, why don't I just book the vacation once I am done with my transformation?  This would be a wise idea, but not possible. My dad is able to locate free tickets for Sea World this weekend (which is my number one favorite place!) due to it being free tickets, my favorite place, and being able to see my family (whom I haven't scene since the holidays).... WE ARE GOING!!!

Let's discuss the details about eating on plan.... Sea World has a NO outside food policy.... I really don't want to walk out of the park every 2.5 hours to eat.... I really don't! (the main reason for this to be revealed at the end of this blog), but it would be a waste of time anyway.

I am not sure if Sea World conducts bag searches for food or not.... but the same problem will present itself on Sunday when we go to a Dodgers game. Is food sneak-able? I don't know. 

People on the support FB site for medifast said that yes sea world does conduct bag searches, but they were easily able to sneak the bars in under bottles of water (water is permitted to sneak in)... and for the dodgers game... they suggested wearing an oversized bra and sneaking food in that way... which is not something I am willing to do....

So, I have been thinking a lot about the person I have become....

I have become that person who wants to eat the summer fruits so very badly, and am often offered them, but I say no, I am not eating those items currently.

 I have become that person who takes vegetable trays to 6 year old birthday parties (TRUE STORY!)

And I have become that person who asks the poor McDonald's workers what is the difference between their salads, too which they had no idea..... You might be wondering why I was at McD's in the first  place.... long story short is I was to see clients on the west part of town from 8-12, and then 5:30-7:30, since we are now bus commuters (all of ours no longer function), it was not plausible to come all the way home (an hour and a half bus ride) to go all the way back to West Vegas..... I didn't have time to have my lean and green meal this morning (I caught the 5am bus), so I needed to have one out, and I knew that McD's salads are approved.... but more so than just ordering a Salad, I based my decision on which salad to purchase, based on which one had fewer calories! 

But, during my adventures at McD's this evening, I became that person who spat out a sliver of carrot because it wasn't on plan. Yes, I'm JUST that weird! But that's okay by me!

Okay, so.... I went to Urgent Care yesterday (yes, Heaven forbid I break the Sabbath and seek medical attention on a Sunday).... But I went because I have had excruciating pain (to the point where I can't walk) on my left leg and foot.... The doctor said I have tendonitis (this is the real reason I really don't want to walk in and out of Sea World)... It should take 6-8 Weeks to heal.... but he also asked if I recently gained weight! (THE BIG DONKEY-MONKEY FACE!!!) I informed the monkey that I have indeed lost 85 pounds recently.... His response was that my tendons in my leg, are worn out from being obese!

This made me feel defeated... like I am still being punished for being fat... isn't losing weight supposed to increase your health, and decrease chances of major problems?!?

Well anyway, here is my weight reveal for this week.... Yesterday the scale at Urgent care revealed the numbers 159...that would be just 9 pounds away from sliding into the Healthy Category... That's basically the weight of my freaken swollen calf! I'm going to be honest, I was shocked to see those numbers.... My mini goal was to be in the 150's by my birthday!  However, if I am going to keep this blog honest, my scale revealed the numbers 161...Now, I have two theories for this discrepancy 1. my leg was actually more swollen this morning then it was at the doctors yesterday  2... Only people who have done medifast will understand this, but sometimes there is complications with your digestive system working properly, yes that's all the details you're going to get.... ... so, I don't know which Scale to believe.... I think I will just sneak in another check with Mr. Scale when it's my birthday, just to see if I hit my mini goal or not.