Marching On!

Do you ever have days, moments, weeks, when you feel like you are going to have a nervous breakdown? Thats been my week. 

I've been living off of  not enough sleep. Family Heartbreaks. Drama at work. You name it. 

This morning was the worst of it.  As of last Friday, we are mandated to wear masks when outside of our homes. Work have had the same rules at work for months, but I always gotten away with not wearing one, because I was by myself in a mansion of a house. I mean, who was I protecting from getting the virus, the scorpions?  So now I have to wear a mask because we have people staying there again. 

Yesterday, a coworker made everyone breakfast, including pancakes. I didn't eat those.  Eventually I told the chef I hadn't had any carbs in multiple weeks, they responded that that's good. One coworker saw me drinking my shake, and kind of made fun of me for it. This person has always been ranked my least likely person to be around).  But I marched on.  This person's comments  and opinions I have never held in much care for. 

Today, I drank my shake at my normal time (3am). Noticed on the bag of my frozen fruits, that it actually expired in February of 2018. I despise eating expired foods (I've gotten food poisoning way too many times.)  But I figured I must have had consumed it multiple days prior, so I marched on! 

At work this morning,  I got "sick". Like felt like I couldn't breathe. Felt like it may be asthma. Took my mask off, and just sat there. Eventually I took my inhaler. I didn't think I could do the drive home (30 minutes), but marched on. Got home.  And just stood at the entryway. I couldn't even talk to Dean. He was asking me stuff, and I couldn't muscle up a response. Then I thought, maybe I just needed to eat something. I ate almost two string cheeses (Nala bear shares with me), some pickles, and an egg. Pickles have always been good at curing my dizzy spells. I kneeled next to the fridge, and ate some. I was probably dehydrated too. But I relaxed on the couch for a bit, and felt better. Before that I couldn't even look at my phone screen without it dancing around. I don't know what was wrong, but I really wanted to go to the gym, but as soon as I started feeling crappy at work, I decided to just not. 

Fast forward: I wanted  sausage links and cabbage from the store, and spaghetti squash.  I decided not to go today (tomorrow is payday). Ended up in a dog chase in my car (not involving my dogs),  once the incident was under control, I thought, well I'm out now. May as well. Then I realized I was wearing socks, with slides (huge fashion mistake), but then I thought,  what the hell, I don't exist in the universe for anyone but me.  I marched on, and went anyway. 

On my way there, some lady motioned me to turn into the parking lot of a church that supports the HIV community (which is great). We always see the line of cars for this event, but never stopped.  We knew it was a food giveaway, but we typically go to the one sponsored by the LDS church. We thought the HIV one was for only that group (and I love how there is a church that supports them). But they had no body there today, which may be indicative of our economy stabilizing, for now.  So I went in and ended up getting several cases of free food. You never know what's in them, until you get home. This weeks round up was mostly stuff I can't eat ( 2 cases of bread); sodas, etc. So I was disappointed, and will probably rehome most of the stuff to coworkers. 

But then, there was a bunch of protein stuff I can eat! Eggs, chicken, sausages (that I had actually forgotten to pick up at the store), and bison. (Never had that before, so I'm not sure how to cook it, so this could be an adventure.  I was excited to see this! 

Anyway, no stats today, but my pants that I just bought because all of my other pants were too big and holy, are now too big! I forgot a belt the other day, my coworker fixed me up with  zip tie, and life just marched on!

 

( I was trying to upload photos, but can't seem to right now.). Oh well.