Hodge Podge of Secrets

So.....as I was hanging out with Kitty Kat Kay at the Vet, I received a text message from the Husband that read "Awesome. I have more bad news. Our closet just fell down." Now the way this was worded had me worried... I thought the roof, ceiling, and walls caved in, but thankfully that was not the case. Just the closet rod brackets broke, causing the rod to come tumbling down. I tried to drill a new hole to install the brackets, to no avail. This situation called for us to reorganize our organization regarding our clothing. Luckily, we already had shelves in our room that could turn into housing stations for our clothes. We do have a dresser, but I hate my outer-wear clothes being in a dresser. During all of this, we were forced to downsize our closet, which is good. We were able to create a huge bag of our fat clothes, for donation.

As we began to unbury the floor in our room, we came upon tons of clothing items, that were nothing but shocking to realize that most of the clothes that used to be too tight, and now, almost two of me can fit in one of those pant legs!

Well, we placed an order of food last week, and the order was never fully processed. TSFL took the money out of our account, and then put it back in again, three separate times. We have no idea what is going on.  I have spent many hours calling the company and trying  to figure out this hot mess,  to end up with no explanation of what is going on. I kind of feel this is happening because of two things. One being the adversary trying to destroy my progress thus far. Or, my Father in Heaven telling me that we can't afford to continue on plan until Dean establishes an income. I have no idea which one it is.

I have spent the last few days debating in my head if I should call and straighten this hot mess out,  and subsequently get the money deducted from my account, and get my food, or just wait until we have more stability with the piggy bank. However, in all honesty, I am worried sick that this nincompoop of a company will end up charging us three times for one order if we don't get this nonsense straightened out (remember, last month they charged us twice for the same order?)

Also last week, when I got out of the shower, I noticed that my face has gotten so thin, that my surgical scar  from when I had a tumor removed (in 2000) is now more evident than ever, making me feel more self-conscious than ever. Since I had this operation, my scar literally leaks fluids whenever I consume food, and this is causing me to question weather or not I should quit with my weight loss  now.

I have spent the last few weeks, nothing short of feeling burnt out with this diet.... I want to eat "real food" again. I really do... but I look at my progressive photos, and the number on the scale, and think that it would be nothing more than foolish to give up, or to employ cheating days now. However, we will be out of town next weekend for a birthday party, and staying on plan, while at a birthday party and driving for 12 hours (round trip) scares the banana crackers out of me.  I really don't know how I am going to handle this... I can handle eating my pre-packaged foods, but my lean and green meals are going to become excruciatingly difficult.  Although I will have access to a stove, the condition of the kitchen where the stove is located, should have been featured on "Hoarders" years ago. But more so than that, I have not done any cooking on any stove or oven, other than my own, since I got burned... all stoves project a different amount of heat. I know how close I can get to my stove before my battle wounds hurt, and there is no way to know that in a foreign environment (yes, heat still ignites pain in my scars) Besides the issue of getting too close to a heat source, is the issue of purchasing and storing the food items I need to stay on plan.

Yesterday, I was able to wear a skirt to church that I have not been able to wear since I was 18. Here is a photo for proof.

 

 

 



                                                   The scale clocked me in at 173 today!

I've been naughty... so what!

Another  week is now in the past.....

It was finals week, which was stressful enough...Dean also was terminated from his job, which just adds to the stress level... all of which can throw me out of fat burn. But even more so than that, is cheating on the diet.

Dean begged, and bartered to go to the local 5 dollar buffet to celebrate the end of the semester. I told him for days I didn't want to go, but you have to pick and chose your battles. I caved in and decided to join him (sometimes the kicking, screaming, and arguing isn't worth it in the end)  I had attempted to only eat things that are permitted on the diet, basically salad and meats. I also ate incredibly small portions as well.  I may or may not have had a bite of sugar free deserts as well.

My pants are now too lose, uncomfortably so..... So I decided to go to target and see my new size.  I was able to fit into this.....

A size 12 pant and Small Shirt (women's)

 



 

The pants were too expensive (bordering on the $30.00 range) so we decided to hit the shelves at D.I (a church owned thrift store) and I was also able to fit the same sizes there, but I decided not to purchase any of the items, feeling that I am not worth it. This transformation is already costing a pretty penny.

Since Dean was terminated from his job last week, I debated for quite some time weather or not I should place another food order. This process was nothing more then turmoil. Then, the monthly bills began to come in... only to find out that some of them, have been paid previously. I had paid some of the bills in advanced, in order to prepare for the storm that we were going to be in the midst of.  Because I had paid off some bills in advanced, it would free up the money to be able to afford another order of food. My current supply of food is running thin, but I now have four people donating me their undesired items.  I hate mango, and one of the items that was donated to me was a mango soft serve, but before I decided to try it, I decided to tell myself that I liked mango, and that I could not afford to not accept, and eat the free offerings. My hours also significantly increased, so together, Dean and I made the decision, that we can't afford not to purchase the food order. I am so close to reaching the finish line, if I were to go off plan now, it would cost more in the long  run, because my body would of been thrown out of fat burn mode.  So, this morning,  I purchased another order of food! I am really excited because it is more traditional "real food" instead of just bars and pretzels, which I have been eating non-stop, since February.

Also, the six week to summer slim down challenge is also underway. I am not participating in it, but I have been watching other people participate in it, I am glad that I am choose not to participate in it. There has been one problem after another, with the website crashing (thus not allowing people to accrue there points in the original manner) , no one receiving enough clear instructions, etc.   I am just glad that I chose not to participate in this circus of an activity.

Well, as you know Monday's in my official weigh in day.... Today I weighed in at 175! That means I have lost a grand total of 71 pounds (from my highest!) 

Chugging Along

Finals week is now underway... to alleviate some of the stress of the events, I have decided to focus on the, well, amusing things that shrinking causes...

First of all: Nearly all of my clothes, no longer fit! Of course I have some sentimental clothes from when I was a stick figure but, they have camped in the closet nonetheless.  As I got ready for school on Thursday I announced that I had nothing to wear (which is my weekly statement on Sundays) but this time I had nothing to wear for school. I tried on multiple clothes, and then decided literally nothing fits.... so of course... Sassy me, decided to try on my wedding dress.... It once again fits!

Also, I decided to try on the blouse and skirt combo that my dearest Aunt Wendy bought me for my wedding, I haven't been able to fit into the outfit since a year into our marriage, would be my guess..... I wore this ensemble to church today, and both the skirt, and the shirt, are too big! I now have substantial reason to believe that I NOW WEIGH LESS THAN I DID WHEN I GOT MARRIED......Here is my photo to prove  my case:

My sister also just called and asked about my weight loss progress... I asked her how much she weighs.... I now weigh less than her.... by several pounds!!! I have never ever weighed less than her.

Also, remember how I mentioned the confusion whether or not I was in the "overweight" category and no longer in the obese category because the weight loss program has two separate, contradictory materials regarding this, so I called nutrition support. They had no idea what I was talking about and instructed me to use the BMI calculator on the CDC website... So I did, and discovered that I hit the "overweight" category several weeks ago!

My miniature goal was to hit the 170's by mothers day... So I snuck in a check with Mr. Scale on Friday.... to discover.... THAT THIS GOAL HAD BEEN!!!

But since Mondays are my official weigh in days.... I now weigh a grand total of  177 pounds! I am within a 30 pounds of my goal weight!

Sliding Safely into Home base...Perhaps.

When I started desiring to lose weight, nearly a decade ago, I had no idea about this program.
When I learned about the program, I had no idea about the miracles that lied within it for me.
I couldn't fathom being able to drop a bunch of dead weight, in the blink of eye. Speaking of eyes, I can't exactly see well, as I am pretty sure I have pink eye, so this will be kept short and sweet.

 My miniature goal has been to hit the "overweight" category on the BMI chart by mother's day, I loath Mother's Day, so I figured if I could hit that, it would give me something positive to celebrate on such a dreadful day. Don't ask me why I chose a milestone to be on a day I don't weigh in on, I am just weird, and we all know that.

Today, the scale clocked me in at 180...the BMI sheet that I have been keeping a firm eye on says that the overweight category starts at 179.... but just for kicks and giggles, and calculations since I can't exactly see correctly at the moment, I wanted digital land to do some math for me. So I went to my co-branded TSFL website, and calculated my own BMI there.... that says... I HAVE HIT THE OVERWEIGHT CATEGORY.... problem is, I don't know who to believe. A piece of paper that was created who knows when, or digital land, when both items are created by the same people!!!

But, either way, I am confident that I have met, or will meet my miniature goal of sliding safely into the "unhealthy" category on the BMI chart, by Mother's Day. Not too shabby for someone who used to camp out in the severely overweight category.