Check in

 Last week in review, 

Yesterday was my dad’s birthday. It was all I could do to keep from losing my mind. I stayed on the program and didn’t divulge in nonsense, like fast food, candy, and ice cream. Except that’s a lie. I had couple of bites of Keto Chocolate, and a few bites of Keto Ice cream.  A girl sure knows how to spoil herself. LOL.  

However, we went to two concerts last week. Luke Bryan on Friday and Shania Twain on Saturday (don’t judge me). I didn’t get any candy, popcorn, or soda (ya’ll should be really proud of me). On Saturday, we parked on the 9th floor, and quickly discovered that the elevator was out of service.  That meant we had to go down the stairs, and up the stairs.  I made it. I didn’t die. 9 flights of stairs. 

For entertainment:  a couple of weeks before starting Keto, I bought a new belt. Yesterday I had to punch several more holes in the stupid thing for it to be a properly, functioning belt for my fat self. 

We will see that this week brings.  I have a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday (I’m 60%  sure I am looking at a foot surgery.) I would love the down time, but I will miss being active. 

Speaking of being active, thanks to our governor pulling his head of his rear end and no longer having control over what people do with their bodies,  masks are no longer required at the gym. I am planning on going back this week. Probably not until after my appointment though, I really need to figure out what’s going on with my body first. 

Today’s weigh in was 243. I hope I can break into the 230’s in the next five weeks or so.

Return of Fatso-T

 Hello, fellow blog stalkers. 

Long time, no see? Right.  It’s been quite some time since I checked in,  I totally fell off the wagon. Some of you know this, but most do not. 

Not long after my last check in, my dad suddenly passed away.  I lost my (adoptive) mom at 10 years old, and my dad at age 35. I don’t remember those feelings at 10 years old. But, at 35 years old, losing my last parent messed me up so bad.  Most people who lose their last parent, do so much older than I am now, and they have their siblings to rally around them and help them through that. Not me. I had to shift from being a sibling, to being a parental figure to my special needs siblings.  I have had to deal with courts, paperwork, insane amount of anger that I was put in this situation, when I didn’t ask for it.  I wish every day that he was still here. 

My dad was always my cheerleader,  once a week he would ask me how my weight loss was going. He helped keep my accountable. On my birthday (the last time I saw him alive) he knew I was doing low carb, so he made sure to make me low carb (eggplant) lasagna.  I haven’t known what to with my feelings of grief and anger, so, usually on Sundays (when he would call) I would lock my self in my room,  have a movie marathon, and eat popcorn and unhealthy snacks and candies.  Once a week, I gave myself permission to feel, to mourn and to be angry as hell that my dad is gone.  People grieve in all manner of ways, and this has been mine. Judge me if you want, I don’t care. 

When I started my weight loss journey of 2020, my planned reward was a cruise. In 2021 it got cancelled, so I rescheduled it, with the mantra that my dad unknowingly impressed upon me in the wake of his departure, that you only live once, enjoy it while you can. We all end up in the same place. So I decided to take the cruise anyway.  It was such a blast,  if I could I would do it every year. I loved the cruise so much, because I didn’t have to worry about anything, and the cast and crew on board,  made me feel so loved. But, I look back on the pictures, and realized how huge I was. 

I have toyed with the idea of going back on 310 or medifast. But I like real food, so much better. 

A few weekends ago, I went to Knott’s Berry Farm with my kiddos and their mom, and I got kicked off of a ride for being too large. That was probably the most humiliating thing to have ever happened in my life. 

The next day after we returned, I went on Keto, full steam ahead.  In order to keep myself aligned, I have been doing meal prep on Sundays, for the week ahead.  I make meals, and on Mondays, I take them in my lunch bag (which I had to get because some jackass kept eating/throwing my food away at work.) And thats where my meals live for the whole week. So far, so good.  I got a smoker last summer, and I absolutely love that thing. I usually smoke my meat on Saturdays or Sundays. 

Now, here is the problem. I know that I have events/vacations coming up.  I know I don’t want to “cheat” but at the same time, I want to enjoy the events and the people we are celebrating. In a few weeks time, I will be celebrating my siblings’ birthday (we have always celebrated them together, because they are just a few days apart.) It looks like this year it will just be Dean, my sister and I, due to my brothers preposterous behavior. I’m debating weather I want to shove his behavior under the rug, or stick to my long standing stance that I don’t reward for bad behaviors.  But, to celebrate my sisters birthday,  I made reservations for the old spaghetti factory (we don’t have one in Vegas) And to celebrate my birthday, I have reservations for Hell’s Kitchen. Can I have enough restraint in me to have a couple of cheat days, and then go right back on my journey???

Of course, I got side tracked. 

The day I weighed in on my first day of doing Keto, I was 255 pounds. That is the heaviest, and ugliest I have ever been.  

My first weigh in after that (one week) I was registering at 247 pounds. 

Today (exactly two weeks later) I weigh in at. 245.

Non scale victory; 2 weeks ago I was wearing size 24 pants. On Saturday, I fit into and bought size 18. 

Oh, and to shock you all: I am heavily looking into bariatric surgery. I’m so sick of the yo-yo diets. But for now Keto is working until I successfully find a more permanent solution.  I’m scared that most bariatric surgeries in town take place at the hospital in tent city, and I don’t want to go there.  

Can't think of a nifty title

 Here's a weekly round up.  

Ended up  on antibiotics again (I've I mentioned I have been on them pretty steadily since June?). I  Started feeling a lot worse, so I finally went to urgent care, I have E.Coli in my kidney's- that was resistant to the first round of antibiotics. Life sucks. They gave me a new antibiotic. 

 On Thursday, a coworker said "Hey T. You're losing weight!" I responded with No. Sh*%, and we laughed. 

In the realm of work:  my position at my favorite job was illuminated. But they cerated a new position for me. I don't really want to talk about it "publicly" but text me if you want the info. This does mean I will have a schedule change though. On some days I will be working 7am to 11pm. Thats fantastic. 

It goes without saying I'm not feeling week so here's the stats: 

I weigh in 227 now. My size 40 pants I just bought a few weeks ago, are starting to feel loose. But I don't want to buy anymore new clothes until I cross the 200 mark. 

Can I hit 225 next week?

Checking in

 Hello People. 

Today I hit 229. I made it! I landed in the 220s! I would like to hit 220 before September 8 (picture day at work)... Can I do that???? 

Not much else to talk about.  But I have 260 days to lose 75 more pounds. Can I do that??? 

Weekly update

 Hello People.  

I'm gong to make this short and sweet.  My motivation for this weight loss escapade changed from May, 2021, to October 2021, back to May 2021.  And my shenanigans ore official, just so you know.   I have to be at my goal, in 268 days.  Holy hell.  That's daunting. 

This week I went to three fitness classes (two spinning, one kickboxing), last week I went to the dance one (that's the one in highest demand at the gym), you have to register now for them, so they sell out pretty quick. 

On Wednesday I ordered postmates,  Hamburger, low-carb style. When I went to put it in my app, it told me it was still 700 calories. Holy Hell. Learned my lesson. 

Today the scale read 232. It read 234 last week (I dind't have time to post- but I was upset it wan so little- but I also knew I had some issues with my physiological system last week). 

Can I hit the 220's next week?  YES! (Hopefully!)  I'm certainly going to try! 

Down

This will be short and sweet. I weighed in this morning, because yesterday was a flurry of getting called in for a proposed 12 hour shift,  followed by a 6 hour shift at the county. Don't worry, I compromised, but it left not being able to weigh in yesterday. Although, I did consider taking my scale to work with me, so that I could weigh in.  Read that again. I'm that dedicated to this. 

This week, I've been doing the shakes and eating healthy. On Sunday night I found myself absolutely starving, and being dizzy (blood sugar was probably too low)- so I ordered a carb free burger from postmates. It got the job done. Yesterday, a coworker ordered everyone thai food.  I got green curry, but didn't eat the rice. I ate the curry like a soup.  Laugh at me now, understand later. 

Bad news: My reason for this journey of weightloss, sank. I heard of this yesterday, and my heart was so broken. I almost thought it gave me a reason to quit. Then I found a solution.  Don't worry, plans were adjusted- it means I will have to keep the weigh off longer.  I guess we can call that motivation for maintaining. I'll have to be okay with the new plan.  It also means that I will have to keep the weight off longer. That's all the information your going to get right no (text me if you are curious). 

In other bad news: I began to love the winco peanut butter, and it is now taped off again due to covid... we found another all natural one, so we shall see if we like that one too. 

Here's this week check in: 

Scale Read 235. that is 20  pounds in 48 days on this program. 

35 since my highest. 

I am now wearing a shirt my dad gave me, that I've never been able to fit in. 

Subtraction Saturday.

Okay. I'm slowly figuring out how to get photos up on this (blogger changed its format during the time I was MIA).

Okay, this is a two week round up. Last week I was on vacation.  Here is the update on my shenanigans on my trip:

Wednesday, I went out with some friends. I got a tri tip salad, it was so good. But it was even better to be with good friends. 

Thursday I woke up at the hotel, and had a chocolate shake, without any fruit mix ins. It wasn't too shabby.  I used my travel blend jet blender... People have told me it doesn't have the power to actually blend mix-ins, but I didn't have any to begin with, so I made do with just the shake and chia seeds.  I also went to another friend's house, and she had a salad for me. Super thoughtful. It was so great to be with friends both on Wednesday and Thursday, with people who care about me, love me, support me, and respect me. I think I have been starving for those things for years in my own home. 

Friday. It was my birthday. I don't believe in cheat days, my philosophy is either you are doing the program, or you are not.  We had lasagna for dinner (the most carb loaded thing I can think of!).  My dad made me my own healthier version. He made me eggplant lasagna. It was good (I like the sauce he made, all homemade).  But he also made peach cobbler (from home grown peaches) I'm pretty sure they forgot it was my birthday until Dean texted them and reminded them of the event, but whatever. Definitely not the first time. Okay, back to the cobbler. I've told him I am doing no sugar no carbs. But I know there was sugar in the peach cobbler.  But it was my birthday, so I had a small portion. But I also gave the topping (made out of bisquick, which I can't stand to begin with); to my sister.  They wanted garlic bread with their lasagna,  so I went into the store to get it. While I was there I looked for, and found Keto ice cream (I thought only Costco sold that scrumptious stuff).   At first I didn't buy any (it was 7 bucks for a pint!), but we went to another store, and found it for 5 bucks, and got it, to go with my peach cobbler "birthday cake". I was hesitant to try it... but it was so dang good! The associate person said they sell a lot of that brand. The Brand is Rebel, if anyone wants to know. I love the name, because I am UNLV (Rebel) Alumni. Haha.

Saturday, we ate eggs and ham for breakfast, and then leftovers the rest of the day.  I saw a scale in my dad's bathroom, so I jumped on it. It read 240. I thought it was good I wasn't over that. And I know it may be different configurations, not the same scale, lady-ness, etc. And I headed home to Vegas. I had road trip snacks (no sugar added-dried fruit anyone).  So good, but there was coins in the bag, I didn't notice them until they were in my mouth, so that was fun. 

Okay, the travel log is over. Let's get to this week. It's been a blur of working a lot, being exhausted from the trip, being in mental anguish from the mortal departure of a loved one, and just overall hurting. Oh, and I'm sick too. I'm not sure what I have. My first two guesses were strep throat and or inner ear infection.  Could be covid since they  seemingly change the symptoms every other day (don't worry ya'll, I was tested on Tuesday. That sucked with an already sore throat.).  I feel like it's spin the wheel, and see where you land, and that's what you have. `Anyway, I'm back on antibiotics for what I self diagnosed as strep throat, and ordered the antibiotics from callondoc. I can't take the antibiotics on just a shake, but I'm still eating whole healthy foods, and my shakes for lunch.

Okay, I took a week off of Child Haven for my trip and for some Rest and Relaxation (that didn't really happen),  but I got back to work on Wednesday.  During the day, I got called over to the desk, thinking I was in trouble. Someone said "So, I've noticed you are dropping quite a few pounds over there. What are you doing?" Insert me having to explain my shenanigans. You all know my shenanigans, so I will save you the stories I told this person. But they said that they had underestimated me.   But when I explained my shenanigans to them, I was accused of having a guy on the side.  Long story short, I'm going to give this person a sample pack I have. They are interested in it.   It felt good that someone noticed. Another person said they were proud of me, and offered to get me something from the store that is on my diet plan when there was a grill-day. I declined, and just had my shake.  This person made a comment to another person that it will be my fault that they stop cooking for the campus. I don't know how that's my fault. haha. 

Another person saw my shake and asked me what it was. I told them a protein shake with chia seeds. Then they wanted to instigate an argument about what it was, and what it does to you (bathroom habits), but I disagreed with their ideas, because I haven't experienced what I was accused of experiencing. 

I've been wanting peanut butter with my apples and bananas. So I just got the fresh stuff from Winco.  Dean and I agreed it's an acquired taste. But it's my option, so I will eat it.

Okay. Here is the fun part of the week. I wore a size 3x shirt to work. (I had just bought them). I looked in the mirror and realized, I was having severe wardrobe malfunctions (showing off the underclothing).  I borrowed a coworker,  who also is very conscious of modesty, and had her take a stapler to my shirt. It worked. It was hilarious, but it worked.

 My stapled shirt. It kinda looked like a dress.

Okay, that is the two week round up. 

Here are the stats: I now weigh 237. 

Can I be under 235 next week? Stay Tuned.